Theme A Week
by Reizbar-Ookami
Summary: A different variation of the 100 theme challenge, I will be updating twice a week. Let's stretch some writing muscles!
1. Chores

Author's Note: I have made a terrible mistake in doing this. OTL This is Variation 5 of the 100 Theme Challenge, written by JennyDigital on DeviantArt. I will try to update twice a week, on Monday and Thursday. Be patient if I don't post one of those days, though; I have homework and a job and chores that I need to do.

I've been trying to write things so I can update my other stories (Vulnerable Other, Not Always Right, The Secret Serpent, a few of my Kingdom Hearts stories), but I just can't get into it. It's like every time I write, I don't like what it is, and I just can't post something I don't like. It wouldn't be fair to you guys, and it'll only make it harder for me to continue the stories.

Hopefully flexing my writing muscles by having a set schedule and different themes will get me some good writing mojo again. Until then, thank you for your patience and kind words of encouragement. Even if I don't get back to you, it _does_ mean a lot to me that you take the time to post reviews.

* * *

Chores

Joey slid the door to the barn open and went from stall to stall, leading the unicorns out into the paddock. He took a moment to ruffle a colt's mane before it pranced off after its mother, smiling a little. Some days it seemed tedious, doing the same tasks again and again, but when he saw the foals prancing around together and head butting each other, it helped lift his spirits a little.

He wished that he had someone to share it with, sometimes, but his farm was self-sufficient enough that he even had a little extra at the end of the month, so he made do with that. It wasn't like there was anything particularly attractive about a farm with a handful of unicorns. Girls weren't lining up to marry him. He wasn't poor, but he was… comfortable. Maybe one day he'd find someone that was looking for comfortable.

He watched one of darker unicorns as it pranced around the edge of the paddock and chuckled quietly before turning to head back into the barn. If he screamed when he was immediately met with bright blue eyes, then that was his business alone.

"_Seto what the fuck are you doing?!_" Joey hissed, glaring at him.

Seto swung down from the rafter and smirked as he followed the blond back into the barn. "Just wanted to see you."

"Ugh." Joey grabbed a shovel and turned to glare at him. "If you're gonna bother me while I'm workin', you can make yourself useful."

The older boy hummed, nose wrinkling in distaste as he watched him enter the first stall and begin mucking it. "I'll pass."

"Then _get lost,_" the blond snarled without looking at him.

"You know the reason I come here," Seto said, pushing the wheelbarrow closer to him.

Joey sighed and rolled his eyes. "Ya mentioned somethin' about the sheriff."

"Yes. This is the best place to hide, after all." He watched the muscles flex in the younger man's arms and mourned the fact that it wasn't hot enough for him to work without a shirt. He loved it when he could watch the muscles in the blond's back flex, so much so that sometimes he just wanted to… lick them.

And he had licked them before, when Joey had pulled a muscle in his thigh and had been laid up in bed. He hadn't been able to get away and had been completely embarrassed.

Seto had loved every minute of it, even if he _did_ have to take care of the unicorns for a week.

"What didja steal this time?" Joey asked after a few minutes, because he was too curious for his own good.

The brunet leaned toward him and purred, "Some silk ropes and a beautiful satin house robe." He let out a startled yelp as the younger man turned and threatened to throw his shovelful of manure at him. "Just some gold! And jewels! Okay, not just some. I think I robbed one of the King's caravans. In my defense, his guards were so unprepared it might have been a massacre if it was anyone else stealing them."

Joey snorted in disbelief. "And you're nothin' but merciful, huh."

"I'll admit that I'm not a saint," Seto muttered, smirking, but lifted his hand to cover it when the blond glanced at him in disbelief. "I may have tied the guards up and put them in the carriage in only their underwear. It's okay, I'll say it for you; I'm a dick."

The blond chuckled but hurriedly covered it with a cough. He didn't want the older man to think he _approved_ of anything he did. God, his ego didn't need to grow any further.

Seto leaned in the doorway and shrugged. "I'd love to be able to tie _you_ up in your underw—_Why,_" he shouted, ducking and rolling out of the way when an entire shovel of manure came flying at where he'd been standing.

Joey's glare was just shy of scandalized as he hissed, "You know why."

The brunet muttered to himself, dusting his shirt off, then walked over to him, grabbing him by the chin and yanking him around. "Well, if that's how you want to be."

"Of _course_ it's the way I wanna—" Joey let out a quiet noise that almost sounded wounded as the older man leaned in to kiss him. He blinked up at him as he leaned back, frowning. "Why didja do that?"

Seto's brows furrowed together in confusion. "Why wouldn't I?"

"You've never kissed me. It was always just—" Sex, he'd thought. Release, every once in a while. He looked up at the brunet from beneath his lashes, embarrassed suddenly.

Seto cupped his cheek, thumb stroking his cheekbone thoughtfully. "I've been remiss. I apologize. From now on, I'm going to kiss you as often as I can." He leaned in and whispered, "Because you _should_ be kissed, often and _well._"

Joey blushed a little as the brunet's thumb slid down to press against his bottom lip, mouth falling open in surprise. "I—"

"I have to go now, but I'll come back later." He leaned in and kissed the corner of the younger man's mouth, then smirked and turned to leave. "Tomorrow evening, at the latest. I need to make sure my men are hidden from the sheriff and his deputies."

The blond blinked a few times, frazzled and embarrassed, then flushed brightly and turned to glare at him. "Ya know the king would just give ya the money if ya just asked, right?!"

"What's the fun in getting the money if I can just ask my cousin to give it to me?" Seto retorted, smirking, before he turned the corner of the barn.

Joey ran to the door to figure out which direction he was going, just in case he ever needed him. But when he got there, there was no sign of him. Seto had left no trail, no sign he'd been there except for the warmth of where his lips had pressed to his mouth. But somehow, he knew that Seto would come if he needed him, like he always had an eye on his little farm.

Joey lifted his hand to cover his mouth, trying to cover his smile just in case Seto was watching. Just because Seto was a good kisser didn't mean he needed to know about it.


	2. Happy

Author's Note: Set in some space-like setting. I don't know what year it is. All I know is that instead of inventing games, Seto invents different spaceships and gets really pissy when people don't take care of his creations. Because let's be honest. Seto is a micromanager and perfectionist—literally the worst person to work for/with. Also I can't tell whether Seto and Mokuba are rich in this or not, but I think maybe they are? In any case, Seto is still a genius. Because when he is not (not counting social situations where he just fails spectacularly).

It's okay, Seto, I love you even when you're stupid.

* * *

Happy

"Seto! Seto, where are you?"

"Under the Star Shooter," Seto called out, grabbing the wrench again to tighten a few of the large bolts on the laser equipment. He hissed as a wire glanced off his hand with a sizzle of sparks. "Ow, dammit. What did that asshole do to you?" he asked the small spaceship angrily. "Just digging around the control panel and snipping wires, I'll have his fucking job."

Mokuba's face appeared under the edge of the vehicle. "If it were up to you, you wouldn't have _anyone_ helping you maintain the ships."

The brunet grunted and took the socket wrench his brother handed him, then handed it back. "I need an eighth."

Mokuba switched the three-sixteenth socket for an eighth and watched him undo the nuts on the panel over the circuit board. "If it makes you feel better, the guy that did this was demoted and has to retake his flight classes for the Shooter. And even if he passes again, after the way he panicked, no instructor is going to let him fly a real one again. He'll have to transfer if he ever wants to fly a Shooter again. He'll be someone else's problem."

Seto sighed in annoyance, but he was also glad that the idiot wouldn't be his problem anymore. "Too bad he didn't fuck up sooner. This is going to take days to fix. That's one less Shooter." He groaned. "Atem's going to be on my ass all week." He grabbed the soldering gun to bind the wires together again. "Why were you looking for me, anyway? You know I'm on the clock until six."

"It's almost six," the younger boy pointed out, then smiled smugly. "I just got some news that I think you'll like!"

The brunet raised his eyebrows as he pressed the wires back into their places and put the panel back on. "You always say that, and you're always disappointed."

"I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen this time." Mokuba reached down and grabbed the creeper he was laying on, rolling him out from under the ship. Smiling in response to his brother's disgruntlement, he sang, "Someone came into port today!"

Seto scowled. "That could be any number of people, most of them people I could care less about."

The younger boy rolled his eyes. "Someone you care about a lot."

"I'm sorry, I was not aware that payroll was a person."

Mokuba scowled at him. "You're the actual worst, you know that?"

Seto huffed and heaved himself back under the Shooter. "If that's all you came to say, I'll see you at home for dinner."

Mokuba grabbed the creeper and yanked him back out. "Go take a shower, Seto."

"_Why?_" he asked, exasperated. As an afterthought, he added, "And who was it that came into port, since you seemed intent on that?"

"Wash all the oil and dust off and I'll tell you," the younger boy retorted, turning to pack up his tools.

Seto sighed and rolled his eyes, then stood up, wiping his oily hands on his coveralls when all he really wanted to do was rub them into his brother's face. "Fine."

He walked over to the rack at the entrance of the garage, pulling his coveralls off and hanging them on the peg with his name over it. Even with the coveralls, his jeans were splotched with oil and coolant, and his t-shirt was beyond saving. He pulled his shirt over his head and threw it in the bin for rags, then walked into the washroom. He considered taking an extra long shower just to spite his brother, but there was about a seventy-five percent chance that Mokuba would storm in and change the water from pleasantly warm to sub-zero. He could do that, too, because Seto had been an idiot and taught him how, just to mess with Atem.

He couldn't bring himself to be mad, though, because every few weeks he'd hear a startled shriek from his cousin's room. Then he just felt proud.

He leaned out the door. "Bring my clothes in when you finish packing my tools, okay?"

"Whatever," Mokuba muttered.

Seto paused in concern, because when Mokuba said 'whatever,' he could either mean 'yes' _or_ 'no' and he didn't want to be left in nothing but a towel. He'd just have to hope that Mokuba wanted him to leave the garage more than he wanted to make him sprint to the lost-and-found in nothing but a towel. He could never tell with his brother; his sadism came in spurts.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"What the…" Seto muttered, reaching out to pluck at the jacket of the suit his brother had brought for him. He wrinkled his nose in disgust. _Who_ had arrived at the port, and _why_ did he need to impress them? He'd rather get back to work on the ships that needed repair than try to entertain someone.

He sighed and rolled his eyes. Mokuba wasn't really giving him a choice in the matter, apparently. At least he'd brought him the comfortable suit this time. Last time he'd brought the itchy mowool suit that looked fantastic but felt like he was being bitten by dozens of hangar flies.

He pulled the suit on carefully, because he'd gotten a wrinkle last time and Mokuba had pulled out his portable iron and it was just as uncomfortable having his suit ironed on his person as it sounded. Mokuba took their appearances very seriously when they were entertaining people, which was both hilarious and weird, considering he wore striped shirts around the house.

Pulling his tie tight, Seto shouldered his way out of the washroom and pushed his hair back. "I'm washed and wearing my suit. Will you tell me who we're meeting, now?"

"You had the chance to ask earlier, you didn't take it, and now you have to live with it," Mokuba retorted, pushing him toward the door. "Come on. We're going to be late."

"When did you get so _bossy,_" the brunet muttered, scowling, as he followed him over to the rail station. He tried to peek at the destination on the tickets and sighed when the younger boy immediately pushed the cards into the ticket collector and received a receipt. "Will you at least tell me what part of the city I'm going to?"

Mokuba smirked. "Nope. And you'll thank me."

"I'd rather push you in front of the rail," Seto deadpanned as the plastic doors slid open and they stepped onto the austere railcar. He looked up through the ceiling of the car and hummed as he took stock of where the stars were, reaching out to grab one of the poles in one hand and the back of his brother's shirt in the other.

The railcar started with a jerk that made Mokuba squawk and his feet leave the ground. Seto mused that if it weren't for the usual tendency for the other passengers to grab the newcomers before the rail started again, Mokuba would have permanent bruises all the time from colliding with the mats at the end of the car. He helped his brother get his feet back on the ground and sat in one of the seats, motioning at the seatbelts. If it was a longer ride, he wanted one on, but if they were getting off in a few stops, he wouldn't bother.

"You'll be getting off in a few stops," Mokuba shrugged. He squinted at the pale ink on the receipt. "They need a new ink cartridge. Anyway, you're getting off at Swabo Street and then you're going to _Chef Cuisinier's_."

"When do you think the owner's going to realize that when he asked his chef his name, his chef misunderstood and told him he was the chef? He's literally named the business 'chef chef.'" Seto smirked. He knew the owner of the restaurant and when he finally found out, he was going to be so embarrassed he'd sell it as fast as he could. If he was lucky, the chef would scoop it up and then give Seto a generous discount because for whatever reason, they were fond of each other.

The younger boy shrugged. "Soon, probably. Do you think the chef will actually let us order for take-out if he owned the restaurant?" he asked, eyes brightening at the thought.

Seto snorted. "_No._"

Mokuba's smile faded. "Yeah, he'd probably scold me for being unsociable if I asked."

Seto stood and moved toward the door, grabbing the bar so he didn't go flying when the railcar stopped. "I'll see you when I get home, then."

"Yeah, sure you will," Mokuba mumbled.

The brunet shot him a glare. "What does that mean?"

The younger boy smiled innocently. "Maybe check your pockets when you get off the rail."

Seto narrowed his eyes as the rail stopped but stepped off the railcar. He wouldn't give him that satisfaction. Once the rail had pulled away, he slipped his hands into his pockets.

To say he was not amused when he found the handful of condoms his brother had left him would be an understatement.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Walking into _Chef Cuisinier's_, Seto realized he still had no idea who he was meeting or whether the reservation was in his name at all. He figured it _had_ to be in his name, because most people had to wait months to get on the reservation list, whereas Chef Beaumont usually made sure that Seto and Mokuba could get a table within hours _personally._ Seto still wasn't sure why the chef liked them so much. He figured it had something to do with the antique car he'd fixed up for him before the Fleet Academy had picked him up for work on their starships.

"Reservation for Kaiba," he told the hostess, because Mokuba would find out whether he stayed or not, and it would be easier to live with him if he stayed.

She smiled at him. "Oh, right this way, sir."

He followed her to the table and sat, ordering a bottle of wine from a waiter when he paused at the table to ask if he'd like to order or wait. At least this way, if he didn't like the company, he could have good wine. Also, he could get totally sloshed if the conversation was too painful.

Seto laced his fingers together and rested his chin on them, frowning, as he thought about what he might order. He'd been craving beef lately, but Chef Beaumont did something beautiful with the Martian chicken and he was torn between the two. He glanced at the door, wondering who his dinner guest would be, then turned his gaze back on the wall.

He whipped back around to face the door when he realized he'd seen a familiar mop of blond hair and couldn't help a startled squeak when he realized it was Joey. Joey was supposed to be in space for two more months. He couldn't keep a secret to save his life. _How_ had he kept this a secret during their com-calls?!

Seto leaped to his feet and met him halfway across the restaurant, wrapping his arms around the blond's waist and spinning him around before setting him down again. He scowled. "How did you keep this a secret from me?"

Joey grinned smugly. "I had a note taped above the com sayin' 'don't tell Kaiba about the thing.'"

"I—You really—Why would you—_You're impossible,_" Seto told him, disgruntled.

The blond chuckled and led him back toward their table, ignoring the stares they were receiving (because Seto often did things that made people stare; he was… quirky). Once he had the older boy settled in his seat again, he leaned his elbows on the table and smirked. "I got transferred back on planet 'cause apparently some _idiot_ panicked after he was grazed by a meteor and ripped open the control panel of his Star Shooter. 'cause apparently rippin' shit up was gonna help him regain control of the ship."

Seto opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

Joey leaned over the table, grin fading into a small, sincere smile. "Now I can stay on planet, work a regular shift, and come home. I don't hafta share a bunk with three other guys who only ever talk about how they wanna bang my sister whenever they see her picture on my wall. I can eat whatever I want. I can have _sex_ whenever I want," he added in a whisper, then bit his bottom lip and looked up at him from under his lashes.

Seto let out a quiet growl. "I will gladly help you with that last one."

"I thought ya might. But I'm actually starvin', so can it wait until after we eat?" the blond asked, reaching for one of the menus.

"Of course," the older boy told him seriously. "You'll need all the energy you can get for the sex marathon."

Joey let out a bark of laugher and quickly hid behind his menu. "Man, Seto, you're just gonna sweep me off my feet again." He looked up in surprise when he felt a hand on his and blushed a little as he allowed the brunet to clasp his hand. "What?"

"…I'm really glad that you're back," Seto admitted quietly. "I missed you. I'm glad that you're not going to have to leave again."

Joey grinned and lifted their twined hands so that he could kiss the brunet's knuckles. His smile faded. "God, ya couldn't find anything t' wash all that coolant off?"

"I still have coolant on my hands?!" Seto exclaimed, then stood and hurried to the bathroom to wash his hands a few more times. He needed to invent a new coolant that didn't stay on skin after being scrubbed once.

"Okay, well, I'll just… order for ya then," Joey muttered, then buried his face in the menu again to hide his laughter. He wasn't even really upset; he just couldn't believe Seto didn't take the time to wash his hands as thoroughly as the rest of his body.


	3. Life

Author's Note: Or, 'a day in the life.' God, my heart. I'm kind of stupidly in love with men raising children right now. There's nothing sexier than a man taking care of his kids.

Also I know this ends abruptly. That's because I could write about this _forever_ if given the chance. Babies! \o/ Men! \o/ _Men raising babies._ \o/ *drowns in feels*

* * *

Life

"What the heeeell," Joey muttered, stepping over a broken vase. He works all day feeding entitled assholes, and then he comes home to his _own_ entitled asshole and everything's a mess? He looked at the splotches on the wallpaper and wondered whether it was blood or tomato juice. He sighed and rolled his eyes, then called out, "Kaiba?"

Seto leaned out of the living room, eyes wild. "Shh! You'll wake them up!"

Joey nodded to himself and stepped over the broken crockery. "Okay. Where are they sleepin'?"

"In here. It was where I finally got them to just pass out," the brunet hissed, peeking over his shoulder.

"Ya know that if I don't wake 'em up, they're not gonna sleep well tonight," the younger man pointed out, nodding as two maids scurried past him wielding buckets of water and a broom and dustpan.

Seto's left eye twitched, and his hand spasmed on the wall he was clutching. "I _just_ got them to sleep."

"I heard ya the first time," Joey told him soothingly, cupping his cheeks and pulling him in for a soft kiss. "Mm. Tomata'."

"…We had tomato soup and grilled cheese for lunch," Seto admitted quietly. "It was going well until the end."

The blond smiled and trailed a few kisses from the corner of his mouth down to his jaw. "They lure ya into a false sense of security and then rip the rug out from under ya." He leaned back and ran his thumbs over the older man's cheekbones. "How 'bout you go take a bath, and I'll take care o' the kids for a while."

Seto drew himself up straight, offended. "Do you think I'm incapable of watching my own children for a day?!"

"Of course not," Joey cooed, even as the maids whispered to each other that the brunet had certainly made it much harder on himself than it had to be. "But ya always let _me_ have a nice long bath after a day of takin' care of the little runts. You should get one, too." He smiled mischievously. "With bubbles and the jets goin', maybe. And if you're relaxed enough, maybe after I get them t' bed—"

"Yeah," Seto breathed, leaning in to lean his forehead against the younger man's. "That sounds _good._"

"Maybe I was gonna say that after bedtime we could do the crossword puzzle. Ya didn't let me finish," the blond teased, smiling.

"Anything would be good as long as it was with you," the older man muttered, nuzzling his face against the blond's neck. "Even just going to sleep."

Joey heard the maids coo and had to admit that he kind of wanted to coo, too. Parenthood was good for Seto. He was usually too tired to get angry or annoyed or even exasperated. His blood pressure had even gone down a little bit, now that he was too tired to get worked up about his employees' incompetence. It made him a little bit more romantic, too, sometimes.

"We'll see how tired we are after dinner and the kids are in bed, okay?" Joey pushed him toward the stairs, smiling a little when the brunet wandered up them. He paused at the top to look back down at him, gave him a tiny, tired smile, then continued down the hall to their room.

"My God, why are they all taken or gay or both?" one of the maids behind him moaned, frustrated.

Joey turned to grin at the two, wiggling his eyebrows up and down. "'cause we're all fans of anal sex!"

The younger maid squealed and blushed, giggling as she hid her face in her coworker's arm. The older one gave him a clearly unimpressed look. "If we were any other maids, you'd never get away with that," she pointed out, picking up her buckets.

"Please. Kaiba says much worse to _everybody,_" the blond pointed out, shrugging his jacket off and hanging it up.

"Mr. Kaiba says much worse because he doesn't know better and doesn't understand rhetorical questions," the maid replied incisively. "We have higher standards for _you,_ Mr. Wheeler."

Joey grinned, because he knew that, but it was nice to hear it sometimes. "Okay, alright, I'm sorry. As it happens, Kaiba's not even gay. He just happened to pick someone that's male. I'm sure if he'd found a girl that put up with him like I do, he coulda liked her just as well."

"There isn't a girl that _would _put up with him like you do, Mr. Wheeler," the younger maid answered earnestly, because she didn't know better.

Joey preened as the older maid elbowed her in the side. "Don't feed his ego, hon'. If their egos get too big, they have a battle of wills, and then it's just miserable for everyone."

"…I don't understand these people," the younger girl muttered, walking into the kitchen.

"That's why we try to stay out of sight when they're home," the older woman informed her. "They're incorrigible."

Joey watched them go and chuckled, pushing his sleeves up as he moved into the living room. He knelt beside Atticus first, shaking his shoulder gently. "Atticus, time t' get up. Nap time's over."

Atticus whined loudly. "But Papa, we just got ta sleep!"

"And whose fault is that?" the blond retorted, raising an eyebrow. "You guys were givin' your daddy a hard time. And don't argue with me, 'cause ya always give your daddy a hard time when he watches ya."

"Daddy doesn't do things like you do, Papa," the boy mumbled petulantly.

"So?" Joey turned and rubbed Alexis's back, cooing soothingly as she grunted and squinted up at him. "Hey, sweetie. It's almost time for dinner." He picked her up and stood, frowning. "Atticus, your dad takes time off work specifically so he can spend time with you guys. He doesn't wanna be one o' those dads that only pays attention t' ya when ya do something he can brag about. He wants t' be there for everything." He patted the boy's head when he looked down at his feet in shame. "He wants t' be here for ya so that ya know ya can go t' him for help if ya need it. He wants t' be dependable. He wants ya t' know he'd drop everything and come runnin' if ya ever needed it."

Atticus reached up for his hand, shyly admitting, "I never thought about it that way. I mean, nanny _did_ say that Dad cancelled a meeting so he could make it ta see me earn my orange belt in karate."

Joey raised an eyebrow and looked down at him. "You know that your nanny is also your aunt, right?"

"Yeah, but she says she likes bein' called our nanny while she's workin'. She says aunts don't get paid ta spend time with their niece and nephew, and she likes it best when she spends time with us without bein' our nanny." Atticus frowned and looked up at him. "Papa, why does she need ta be our nanny _and_ our aunt? Why can't she just be our aunt?"

"She took a few years off school t' earn money, and she said she wouldn't mind bein' the nanny while we work," the blond explained patiently. "I cut my hours t' four days a week, and your daddy takes weekends off now, when he didn't before. So while she's watchin' you guys, she's earnin' money for school. We're a family of very hard workers, ya know."

"Is that why we never see Uncle Mokie?" the boy asked sadly.

Joey made a mental note to punch the younger Kaiba in the face for making his child sad. "Kind of. He's goin' t' school, but he's also got a lot of work, too. When your dad decided t' back off work a little, it gave Mokuba the chance t' prove that he was just as good a businessman as your dad, and he wanted everyone t' see that he was."

Atticus looked up at him, surprised. "Daddy always talks about Uncle Mokie with a smile. I think Dad already knows."

"Yeah, but Mokuba's got a hard time provin' it t' all the other people at the company," the blond clarified. "There are people there that still remember him as the eleven-year-old that followed his brother around. He's gotta prove he's his own person t' them, and it's hard sometimes, 'cause they look at him and still see that little kid, no matter how old he looks."

"Maybe he should grow a beard. Old people have beards," Atticus suggested.

Joey let out a bark of laughter. "I'll mention it t' him. Maybe he will."

"…Papa?"

The blond sighed and looked down at him, smiling fondly. "Yes, Atty?"

"…What 'bout when me an' Alexis are in school?" Atticus asked nervously. "What will you and Dad do when we're gone all day?"

'_Have hours of passionate sex,'_ Joey thought dreamily, then sighed, shaking his head. "I'll probably pick up some more hours at work. But I'd make them earlier hours, so I'd be home when you get out of school. Your dad, well… hopefully he'd keep the weekends off. We could spend some quality time with each other on the weekends like a regular family." He looked down at his son and smiled. "But that's not gonna be for a while."

He still looked worried. "Will we still get ta see Auntie Ren?"

"Well, she said she wanted t' go back t' America for school," the blond hummed, setting Alexis in her highchair and buckling her in. "But she loves you guys so much, I'm sure she'd call every day she was gone. And once she's finished with school, she'll visit all the time, if your dad has anything t' say about it. Your dad came from a small family, so he wants t' make sure that you guys know all the family you can."

"Then how come we haven't met Grandma?" Atticus heaved himself up onto his chair before Joey could put the dictionary on it. His eyes and nose just barely peeked over the edge of the table.

"'cause your grandma has a lot of loans she needs t' pay off and can't afford t' take time off work," Joey sighed, lifting him up so he could slip the dictionary under him. He ruffled his hair as Atticus leaned his elbows on the table, now able to see and reach his plate.

Seto had offered to pay them off for his mother, but as it happened, the Wheeler children actually got their stubborn pride from their mother, not their deadbeat father. Seto still snuck a couple hundred here and there into the loan payment, because it was clear that Joey and Serenity loved their mom and he wanted to help, but he could only do so much without getting caught.

Joey and Serenity had been adamant he not get caught, though, because then all _three_ of them would have gotten in trouble. As it happened, offended Wheeler women were not something you wanted to get on the wrong side of, even if you were also female. Serenity had mentioned a secret boyfriend, shivered, and hurriedly downed a shot of vodka from Seto's liquor cabinet straight from the bottle.

"Tell ya what. If you guys are good for your daddy, I'll convince him t' take us on vacation so we can go meet your Grandma." His mom had sighed wistfully when he'd mentioned how big Atticus and Alexis were getting. He knew the pictures he sent weren't always enough, that she felt she was still missing out on her grandchildren's lives. "But ya hafta be good for him. He needs t' know you guys will behave when we go visit her, and he won't believe you're old enough if ya misbehave around him. Grandma's old, see, so we need t' be on our best behavior around her."

Joey immediately regretted his words. Just because his mother had a few grey hairs didn't make her old. Atticus was going to stare up at her in wonder before blurting out, 'you're not old at all!' His mother would throttle him.

His life flashed before his eyes.

Seto caught his chin and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, then slid into the seat at the head of the table, twisting the cap off a jar of green baby food that proclaimed to be peas and carrots. "What's that face for? Forget to remind the cleaning staff to get under the counters again?"

"Uh. Nah, just thinkin' of all the ways my mom will murder me," Joey muttered, frowning, and sat down in the seat next to Atticus. He scowled. "I thought I told ya t' take a bath. I can handle the kids for one whole meal, jeez."

"Allow me to take this time to remind you that I don't like baths," the brunet retorted, spooning the green sludge into the blonde's mouth. Alexis made a face. He made one in return. "I know, right? _Peas and carrots, ugh._"

"Did I like peas and carrots when I was that small?" Atticus asked, watching as a maid slid a plate filled with curry and rice. He beamed. "Curry and rice!"

"Yay," Seto muttered. He yelped as one of the maids flicked him on the back of the head and turned, scowling, but they bustled around so much he couldn't tell who did it. He glared at them all mutinously, but brightened when he saw that he'd just been given beef stir-fry. "Thank you," he added grudgingly, rubbing the back of his head.

"You were more a fan of strawberry-banana, Atticus," Joey told him, smiling. "Ya know, she's probably gettin' big enough for solid food."

"But then I won't be able to feed her myself," Seto muttered, frowning.

If anyone thought that Seto would be the stern, responsible parent that convinced Joey he needed to let the children grow up, they were wrong and stupid because Seto was the biggest control freak and he wanted them to stay babies forever so they could continue to depend on him. Mokuba growing up had been hell, Mokuba pushing against his brother's boundaries to try and gain some autonomy and Seto pushing back, afraid that it meant that Mokuba didn't need him anymore. Joey wasn't sure what had been said at the last big blow out, but the brothers couldn't look each other in the eye for days.

"Well. Maybe a few more days then," Joey sighed, knowing that they'd need to argue about it that long before Seto admitted that maybe he was right. Like they hadn't already gone through this with one child.

Seto wiped some peas from the corner of the blonde's mouth and leaned in to kiss her cheek. "_Mwah._"

Joey glared at him, because nothing got him hot and bothered like watching the brunet love their children. He knew it was on purpose when Seto gave him a smug smirk and glanced at him out of the corner of his eye.

"Can we watch Sesame Street before bed?" Atticus asked, pulling the blond's attention away from his other parent. "One with Grover in it?"

"Of course," Joey replied, ruffling his hair, then leaned down to nuzzle his cheek before blowing a raspberry against it.

Atticus squealed. "_Papa!_"

"Sorry, I don't know where that came from," the blond fibbed, grinning, and handed him a spoon. "Dig in, buddy, or you're never gonna get t' the TV."

"Do I hafta eat these greens?" Atticus asked, frowning, as he poked at the green beans on the side.

"You do if you want to see Grover," Seto replied, popping open a jar of applesauce, shirt flecked with green from where Alexis had thrown her peas and carrots after he'd let her try and feed herself, along with a green handprint on his cheek.

Why was that attractive? That shouldn't be so attractive, Joey lamented.

"Besides, if you don't eat your greens, you won't grow up to be as strong as your papa," the brunet continued, and sighed when Alexis slopped some applesauce on his face. "Alexis."

Atticus beamed at the thought. "I wanna be as strong as Papa!"

"I love my greens," Joey told him. "Always have." It wasn't exactly true; he didn't really love any particular food over any other besides curry and rice. The thing he'd learned about parenthood, however, was that parents lied_ all the time._

"Do I dare open another one of these," Seto murmured, humming, as he fingered a jar of pear and blueberry baby food.

Joey stood up and reached over to kiss his cheek. "Ya need some blue to go with your green and white." He ran his finger through some applesauce and sucked his finger into his mouth, smiling, then went to go grab a wet towel to clean the highchair. "Probably shouldn't have taken a shower before feedin' Lexi though."

Seto grumbled. "I'll just wipe off with a washcloth after their baths."

Atticus whined. "I hafta take another bath?! But I took one yesterday!"

Seto watched some curry slide off the boy's spoon and into his lap. "But you got dirty again today."

"I'll take an extra long bath tomorrow!"

Seto leaned his arm on the table and sighed, frowning. "_Atticus._"

It was amazing what one word could do with the right emphasis. Atticus sighed. "Okay, Daddy."

Seto felt warmth grow deep in his chest at being called 'daddy,' just like he did every time Atticus called him that. He could only imagine how he'd feel when Alexis started talking.

He sighed as blueberry-pear food was slopped at his face and turned his attention back on his daughter. He couldn't wait for her to grow out of _that._


	4. Relationship

Author's Note: Actual teenager Seto Kaiba is great. Mostly because he's even more hopeless than regular teenagers.

* * *

Relationship

Seto looked through his closet one last time, then turned and flopped onto his bed. "Ugh."

Mokuba finally looked up from his book, a piece of licorice hanging out of his mouth. "What's wrong?" he asked, slurping the string into his mouth.

The brunet lifted his head to grimace at him. "Mokuba, that's gross. Don't make that sound while I'm lamenting my lack of social intelligence."

"You're plenty intelligent," the younger boy argued. "What? You know PR always picks out your clothes for your appearances."

Seto groaned and shoved his head under a pillow. "Lisa wrote in that she won't help me dress for personal matters."

Mokuba perked up. He hadn't heard anything about a personal outing. "If it's a duel, just wear your usual turtleneck and trench coat. Also, I don't think Yugi would mind if you wore just the turtleneck. Or the sleeveless turtleneck. I'm almost afraid that if you go out in this heat, you'll get heat stroke and die, and I couldn't possibly go to school and run a company like you did."

'_Damn right you couldn't,'_ the brunet thought obstinately. "It's not for a duel."

The younger boy perked up further, teetering on the edge of his seat in the window seat. "Oh yeah?"

Seto peeked up at him, eyes squinted suspiciously. "…Yeah."

"A… meeting with a small business owner or charity that Lisa doesn't know about?" he prodded, since his brother wasn't being forthcoming. "Or so small she doesn't care?"

The brunet sighed loudly and with feeling. "_No._"

Mokuba stood and stomped over to him, scowling. He smacked his brother on the side with all the love and affection and frustration only a truly caring brother could have. "What are you dressing for?!"

Seto shoved his head under his pillow again. "I've got a date." He groaned again, louder, when the younger boy hopped on top of him and bounced. "Please don't break me."

"You've got a date and you kept it a secret from me!" Mokuba crowed. "You're keeping secrets! That's great!" In any other family, it would be terrible, but sometimes Seto told him about his one night stands, so learning to keep secrets was a step up.

"Please stop bouncing me," Seto groaned, reaching back to swat at him weakly.

"When is your date? Where are you going? Man, Lisa's gonna be so mad," the younger boy continued cheerily, rushing over to his brother's closet. "She's always talking about how she wishes she could dress you for a date instead of letting you be seen in a suit all the time. This is so great!"

The brunet rolled over onto his back and stared up at the canopy of his bed forlornly. "It doesn't matter. I'm going to fuck it up."

Mokuba rolled his eyes and pulled out a few shirts. "You are not. Where are you going?"

"Just Burger World and then for a walk in the park." He wanted to do something extravagant, but apparently that was bad form for a casual first date.

"So, casual," the younger boy muttered, putting a silk shirt back in the closet. He turned to look at his brother, hummed, then turned and put a button-up shirt back in the closet as well. "I hope she likes biceps, 'cause she's getting biceps."

"Biceps?" Seto asked, sitting up. He flailed when a shirt was flung in his face, nearly toppling off the bed, then sat up straight and held it up. He grimaced. "This is my _workout_ shirt, Mokuba. I can't wear my workout shirt!"

Mokuba gave him his best unimpressed look. "Yes you can. Also, you hang your workout clothes?"

"…I have them ironed, too," the brunet muttered, falling back and covering his face with his shirt, since his pillow was now out of reach.

Mokuba seriously considered moving out of the country and changing his name, just so he couldn't be related to his incredibly weird brother.

"Anyway, I'm not wearing my workout—UNGH." He groaned and rolled onto his side, curling up in a ball as his stomach clenched and spasmed with pain. "What did you just throw at me!?"

"One of your dominatrix boots." Mokuba pulled out a hanger holding a pair of neatly folded jeans.

Seto pulled his shirt off his face and glared at him, wheezing, "They are _not_ dominatrix boots!"

"Dominatrix boots," the younger boy whispered, then grabbed some tennis shoes and trotted over to him. "Here, put these on." He pulled his brother into a sitting position. "She'll either faint or run away screaming, and I've seen you doing pull-ups. She's not going to run away screaming with those guns."

Seto halfheartedly flexed his right arm. Well, he supposed his arms were nice. "I don't think he'll appreciate it as much as you think, but we can hope."

"He?" Mokuba blinked, surprised. When he saw his brother beginning to shift uncomfortably, he hurriedly added, "If you like guys, that's okay too! I'm not judging!"

"You're judging me a little," the brunet muttered petulantly, pulling his sweater over his head.

Mokuba huffed out a laugh, lip quirking up in a half-smile. "I'm mostly still judging you for ironing your workout clothes and hanging them in the closet."

"_It's not that weird!_" Seto bellowed, shoving him.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto glanced at his reflection in the mirror on his way out the door, then paused, frowning. "What the hell did you do to my hair?"

Mokuba leaned over the railing of the stairs to look down at him. "It's the style that all the guys are sporting these days!"

The brunet's nose wrinkled in distaste. "All the guys at your school?"

"Well, yeah."

"Mokuba, I'm not twelve."

Mokuba blinked, surprised, then squinted down at him. "Yeah, I can see that. Okay, you can shake it out."

"I don't know if I can," Seto muttered, lifting his hands to rake his fingers through his hair. "You put so much gel in my hair, it feels like cement."

"Maybe that's how Yugi's hair feels. Stick your hair up!" the younger boy called down.

Seto did, just out of curiosity. He stared at his hair, then hurriedly began flattening it again. "Yeah, I can't pull that off." He got his hair into some semblance of neatness, stared at himself in the mirror again, and sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets.

He supposed his arms _did_ look nice in this shirt. And his jeans made his ass look good. He wished he could change his shoes, though. These were the shoes he wore when he had to pick Mokuba up from school on parent-teacher day and actually sprint back to the car from all the parents and teachers that were trying to flirt with him. He did not have good memories of these shoes.

Seto sighed, frowning, then trudged out to the garage to get into the least flashy car he owned. Maybe he'd make some new, better memories in them.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey looked a little surprised when he finally caught sight of him. Seto wondered if that was a good thing or a bad thing, considering that Joey usually had neutral reactions of greeting him at this point.

Joey smiled as he approached and reached out to grab the hem of his tank top. "Hubba hubba. Damn, Kaiba, who knew ya had those guns under there?"

Seto smirked because he didn't know how not to be smug in regards to compliments, even as he surreptitiously patted the gun he had hidden in its holster. Roland made him promise to carry it whenever he didn't have a full security detail. He hoped that Joey wouldn't notice it.

"Hope this means ya know how t' eat," the blond continued, dragging him into the diner. "If ya order a salad, I'm judgin' you."

"Salads come with meat," Seto pointed out, sliding into the same side of the booth and hooking an arm over his shoulder because Joey had given him an inch and he was going to damn well take a mile. "Besides, if you use enough salad dressing, it actually stops being healthy. Those things are full of fat and sugar."

"Yeah? Gross," the younger boy answered, not bothering to look at the menu. "I'mma get a double bacon cheeseburger and fries. An' a chocolate milkshake. What are you getting?"

"Uh." Seto peered at the menu, because he actually had never been in Burger World for longer than it took to pick up Mokuba from hanging out with his friends. "The same? But strawberry."

"Man after my own heart," the blond cooed, grinning. "When we make out it'll taste like chocolate-covered strawberries."

Seto stared at him, frowning. "Are you always this forward? Aren't we supposed to wait until the third date to make out?"

"Kaiba, do I look like the kind of guy who does things normal—Wait." Joey narrowed his eyes at him, then grinned, eyes going wide and bright. "Oh my God, did you do research on this? Didja look up stuff for first dates and datin' etiquette?!"

Seto turned and wondered if he should throw himself onto that table of teenage girls. It would be a coward's death, but at the moment, he didn't much feel like a hero.

"That's adorable. Oh my God, my sister's gonna _die._" Joey gasped. "_Téa_ is gonna die! Man, they're gonna be so jealous that you're such a gentleman. Not too gentle, though," he added when the brunet looked at him in confusion. He punched his arm playfully. "Man, makin' out with you is gonna be great."

Seto got the feeling that this out-of-control feeling rising up in him would be a constant whenever he was with Joey. He placed his hand on the blond's thigh and smiled a little when Joey blushed in surprise. He could deal with feeling out of control for a while.


	5. Play

Author's Note: Personally, _'A Little Fall of Rain'_ gets me every time, but who am I to judge what makes emotionally constipated boys cry?

* * *

Play

Joey never really enjoyed going to the opera. He appreciated the singers' voices, of course. How could he not? He'd even _cried_ a little when he'd heard a recording of Birgit Nilsson. It was just, usually the operas were in languages he didn't speak. It was hard to read the summaries of each scene when he was too busy listening to people hit pitches he'd never even thought existed.

But he went anyway, because Seto enjoyed it. And sometimes Seto would grab his hand and lean over to whisper what was going on to him. He liked when that happened.

Sure, sometimes people sneered at him when he asked Seto questions. Sometimes they turned their noses up at him when he spoke with his accent. Sometimes they even asked what he was doing there, since he obviously didn't belong.

Seto in a righteous fury to protect and defend him was sexy, was the short answer. Not that Joey would ever tell them that.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"I… am not sure about this," Seto admitted, frowning, and held up the program he'd been given.

Joey raised his eyebrows in surprise. "It was your idea t' come." He waved a hand around their seats. "Ya said ya wanted t' try something different because ya didn't like the lead soprano for the opera."

"But I don't _like _musicals."

The blond stared at him, jaw dropped, before scowling at him. "Then why the hell did ya think this was gonna be a good idea?!"

Seto frowned. "Well, _you_ like the opera, and we go every month, so I wanted to do something like it, since I wasn't exactly keen on it this month—"

"You're a fuckin' moron, ya loser," the blond hissed, poking him in the arm. "I only like goin' t' the opera because _you_ like goin' t' the opera! I'd be fine stayin' home and watchin' a movie!"

The brunet blinked at him in surprise. "Really?"

"Oh my _God._" Joey rolled his eyes. "You're impossible, Kaiba, I mean seriously. Next time ya don't like whatever opera's in town, let's just stay at home, watch a movie, and go t' bed."

"Oh." Seto tilted his head, then asked, "Is it too late to—"

"Téa will kill us both if we don't stay and watch _Les Misérables_," the blond cut in, rolling his eyes. "Ya remember that face she made when ya said you were takin' me? That was the face of jealousy. But then she told me 'at least we'll be able t' talk about it after ya see it' and God damn I am not puttin' up with her rage if she found out I didn't see it when we had tickets."

Seto scowled and sank back in his seat. He didn't want to admit he was a little afraid of Téa, but… she'd sent a guy flying when he grabbed her butt once with a spectacular uppercut. He'd seen professional boxers who didn't have _half_ of her skill.

And if they both cried a little when _'I Dreamed a Dream'_ was sung, well, the people who didn't cry were heartless anyway.


	6. Toy

Author's Note: There isn't a _ton_ of puppyshipping in this, but there's a little at the end, so that counts, right? Seto was a little busy making sure his company was okay and then starting a fund for repairs/healthcare and also checking on the orphanage. His plate was a little full.

And I know that Yugi would be the first person Joey would go to for comfort, if not Tristan. However, Yugi and Tristan would try to make Joey feel better without a really clear plan, and at this point in time, that's not the type of comfort or help he needs. I believe that Téa can assess the situation and get shit done, which is what Joey needs and is glad to have.

* * *

Toys

Joey lifted his hand to push his hair out of his eyes, hand coming away tacky with half-dried blood. He pushed some large pieces of glass out of his window and marveled at the fact that such big shards had survived at all. Frowning, he listened to the glass break as it hit the ground and leaned out of the window. He lived on the sixth floor of the apartment building. The ground was right there. It was covered in rubble and mud, but it was there—eight feet below him.

He kicked the rest of his window frame out, gritting his teeth as his head throbbed in time with each jar of his leg, then climbed out of the hole that was left and dropped to the ground. The piece of timber his feet hit slid out from under him in the mud, making him slip and fall flat on his back; his breath was forced out with a dull 'whoosh' and he wheezed as he tried to regain it.

It took a few minutes for him to roll onto his side to get back on his feet, and he thought that maybe he should worry more about it, but he figured he had bigger problems. He wasn't sure if there had been aftershocks, but he was certain there had been a wave. If there were more quakes, more waves, he needed to get to the better part of the city, where buildings had been built to code and wouldn't collapse.

Joey paused beside the wreckage of another collapsed building, frowning in confusion when he saw a little girl sitting beside the rubble. It sounded like the little girl was… _singing_ to the doll in her arms. She was probably in shock, or didn't quite understand what had happened.

He walked over and squatted in front of her. "Hey. What are ya doin' out here on your own?"

She looked up from brushing the doll's hair out of its porcelain face. "My big sister pushed me out the window and went back in for our mommy and daddy. She said to wait right out here and not go away."

Joey swallowed thickly, looking up at the ruined building, then turned his gaze back to her. "My name's Joey. What's yours?"

"I'm Mei," she replied, looking back at her doll. "And this is Reni."

He nodded seriously. "Those are nice names. Which window did your sister push ya out of, Mei?"

Mei turned and pointed with one tiny finger at a window beneath a fire ladder that was twisted and bent. "That one. Keiko didn't even stay to watch me use both my hands! I almost dropped Reni!"

"It's a good thing ya kept hold of her, so she was here t' keep ya company while ya waited," Joey told her, patting her shoulder, then stood. "Stay here, Mei."

She smiled and went back to trying to brush her doll's dress clean. "'kay!"

Joey glanced back at her, then grabbed the fire ladder and yanked, to make sure it was sturdy, then began to climb. Once he reached the window, he used his elbow to knock some shards of class away and peered inside. "Hello?" He paused. What had Mei called her? "Keiko?" He saw something move in the corner near some broken drywall and jumped, then scrambled over the sill and into the room, pausing on the creaking floor.

He followed the edge of the room, not trusting the floor, and knelt beside the small body. "You okay?"

The girl flinched and looked up at him, then looked down at her leg, crushed beneath a piece of timber. "My leg hurts."

"Yeah, I get that," he whispered, circling her to find a place he could wedge his fingers under the beam. "If I lift this up, ya think you can pull your leg out?"

"Yes," she answered determinedly.

Joey nodded a little, then grunted and pulled up on the wood. "Okay, now!"

Keiko shimmied backward on her elbows, gritting her teeth as her foot knocked into the beam and jarred it. "Ouch!"

The blond waited to make sure her foot was clear before letting the wood drop again. "Where are your mom and dad?"

She swallowed and turned her head toward the crooked doorway, then looked back up at him. "They fell through the floor." When he stood and turned to face the door, she reached out to grab his jeans before he could go. "I don't think they made it. I called for them and they didn't answer."

Joey turned back toward her, frowning, then nodded and stooped to pick her up. "Mei's waitin' for ya."

The girl beamed up at him. "That's great! I thought she might wander off to try and find help after a while, but I'm glad she's still here. Who knows what could have happened to her!"

"Yeah," the blond muttered, frowning. He had to get these girls out of dodge. It would only be a matter of time before the survivors of this part of town started looting, before bad things could happen to them. Before he couldn't protect them.

He helped her down the ladder and watched as Mei set her doll aside and pounded over to them, throwing her arms around her sister's waist. Apparently she'd only been acting strong, because she immediately began blubbering and asking for her parents. Joey rubbed the back of his head as he tried to figure out how to get them both moving.

Keiko's leg was hurt badly, if not broken. He couldn't think of a way to carry her that wouldn't damage her leg even more. Mei was so young, she could wander off if he didn't hold her hand, and she'd get tired of walking eventually. The streets were too trashed for him to hotwire a car, and it would only draw unwanted attention to them anyway.

He looked around slowly, then turned back to them. "Can you guys wait here for a minute?"

"I guess a few more minutes couldn't hurt," Mei mumbled, like it was her decision.

Keiko rolled her eyes but nodded, carding her fingers through her little sister's hair and kissing her head.

.-.-.-.-.-.

The front left wheel squeaked, and the bar on the bottom scraped against the ground every few feet, but the shopping cart he'd pulled out of some wreckage was the best he'd found. Joey wheeled it back over to where he'd left the girls. Keiko lifted her sister in and situated her with her doll without a word, then turned and lifted her arms so Joey could grab her and put her in as well. He fussed a few seconds, trying to get her leg in so it wasn't so stressed, but gave up when she shook her head.

"You guys ready? Mei, ya holdin' Reni tight?" he asked, gripping the handle of the cart.

"Yes," Mei answered sweetly, snuggling up against her sister's chest.

Keiko turned and looked at their apartment window again, then looked up at him and nodded. "Yes, we're ready. Thank you, Mr. Joey."

Joey smiled a little and began pushing them, flinching a little when the bottom rung scraped across the ground because of the added weight. Well, that just meant he'd have to push a little harder.

Just as they were scraping the corner (it used to have a liquor store that his dad frequented, and he swallowed thickly when he remembered that his father had been out when the first quake hit), they heard a tiny, muffled sound. Joey paused, hoping it wasn't another kid or a looter, because he was too tired, too _hurt_ to deal with it.

Keiko squealed. "_Sass!_"

Joey stared at her, brows furrowed together, but then he heard a "wa wow" and a skinny little rat of a thing jumped over the edge of the shopping cart. "What the hell?!"

Keiko pulled the cat into her lap and beamed up at him. "She must've run out the window as soon as the building stopped moving!"

"That's great," the blond answered, not knowing what else to say. "Keep hold of her then. She'll probably get scared when we get t' other people."

The girl grinned, one hand buried in the cat's fur and the other wrapped around her sister's.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey wasn't sure where to go. He wanted to find his friends. He wanted to get these kids to the hospital. He wanted to find someone to take care of them since their parents were gone. He wanted to stop and help all of the other shell-shocked people wandering out of their homes.

He settled for finding someone who could help him, tell him what to do.

When Téa opened the door to him, raggedy looking, dry blood on his forehead, shitty shopping cart filled with two girls, she didn't even give him a moment to wonder if he'd made the right choice.

"Come inside. –Take off your shoes," she ordered, reaching into the cart to help Mei out. She smiled at the younger girl. "That's a beautiful dolly."

Mei ducked her head shyly. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Téa told her warmly, then turned to Keiko. "I'm sure that kitty-cat would be much more comfortable inside, all dried off. We can probably find it some milk, and you look like you could use some help."

Keiko nodded, blushing a little, as Joey carefully lifted her out of the cart and carried her into the house. "Thank you, miss."

"Call me Téa," the brunette answered blithely, grabbing Mei's hand to lead her further into the house. "Mom, Dad, another friend made it over here."

"Another…?" Joey asked softly, walking in behind her. He brightened a little when he found Tristan and Yugi sitting in the living room, along with Yugi's grandpa and mother.

Mrs. Muto jumped when she saw the girls, as did Téa's mother, and they immediately came to scoop them up. Tristan stood to offer Joey his own seat, frowning. "Man, you look like shit."

"I feel like shit," he admitted, rubbing his face.

"Good thing we have just the thing for people feeling like shit," Téa teased, pulling a chair up in front of him and setting her first-aid kit in her lap. "How was your place after the quake? Lucky the tsunami wasn't so big that it wiped us out."

Joey blinked at her, sweat beginning to bead on his brow as the alcohol stung his cut. "My place was built by crooked contractors and it came down. It just… slid down, crushed the floors beneath me." He motioned toward the girls. "Mei an' Keiko's place, too. Keiko said her parents fell through the floor, and they probably didn't make it. People were still crawling out of the rubble while we were leavin'."

Yugi handed him a glass of water as Téa began picking through Band-Aids for the best kind for Joey's wound. "Are you okay, Joey?"

Joey blinked slowly. _Was_ he okay?

"Maybe ask him tomorrow," his grandfather suggested, not unkindly. "Just let him rest for now."

"Looks like a broken leg," Téa's father said after examining Keiko's injury. "But we won't know how bad it is until we get to the hospital." He looked up at her. "Is it okay if we leave Ms. Kitty-Cat here?"

"Yes," she answered softly. "And—and Mei hasn't had her nap yet, so maybe her too—"

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You want to leave your sister here? Sometimes it's easier to have someone there that you can trust."

Keiko ducked her head, then held her hand out toward Joey. "Mei needs sleep—she doesn't understand what's happening. I trust Mr. Joey, though. And you're his friends, so you must be good. Mei can stay here."

"He's got a head wound anyway, Dad. Might be a concussion," Téa added, using a butterfly bandage.

Joey heaved himself to his feet and wandered over to take Keiko's hand. He looked down at her, at a loss for what to say, before he finally blurted out, "The hospital has really good green Jell-O."

She blinked up at him, stunned, before she began to giggle, somewhat hysterically. The hysterics soon gave way to genuine mirth, though, and soon her head was thrown back, entire body shaking with the force of her laughter.

Joey blinked. "More of an orange Jell-O person, then?"

.-.-.-.-.-.

He had a minor concussion. The doctors said he was lucky that was all he had. Joey thought about spitting in one nurse's face who scolded him for waiting so long to come to the emergency room. Luckily, Téa's dad had been there and had chewed her out. He liked Téa's dad, even though he usually gave him the side-eye for being male and near his daughter. He could understand that, though.

Keiko's diagnosis was a bit more tedious. Since she wasn't bleeding and didn't have a head wound and was basically _not dying_, others were being seen before her, until finally one of the nurses that had been there as long as Keiko had ushered her in to get her x-rays. Joey stayed in the waiting room, since she asked him to, but he was ready to go to her if she asked.

So he was a little surprised when someone sat down next to him and cleared his throat.

Joey looked up slowly, frowning. "Kaiba?"

"Heard your voice earlier," the brunet said, shrugging. "Figured you wouldn't be here until you'd found your friends."

He nodded. Of course the older boy would want to know about them without actually asking about them, so people wouldn't think he cared. "They're fine. I'm the only one that got hurt. Apartment just went, pssssh." He moved his hand down. "Collapsed."

Seto frowned, brows furrowing together in confusion. "Collapsed?"

The blond scoffed. "Not everyone's building is up t' code, Kaiba." He shrugged. "'specially in my part of the city. Let's be honest; I'm lucky it didn't just come all the way down and kill me."

"Oh." The older boy tilted his head, then glanced at the rest of the waiting room, filled with spillovers from the emergency room because there were just too many people. After a moment, he looked back at the blond. "If you need a place to stay for a while, until you get things sorted out—"

"Can you help me with somethin' else instead?" Joey cut in, looking up at him.

Seto blinked in surprise. "Perhaps."

It figured that he wouldn't agree until he knew what he was agreeing to, the blond thought. At least some things never changed. "These two little girls I found on my way to Téa's. Oldest said her parents were dead. Can ya look into that? If it's true, find someone they can stay with?"

"I… Yes. I can do that. Just give me their names, and—"

"Mr. Joey! Look! They gave me a pretty pink cast!" Keiko exclaimed, smiling, as she was pushed up to them. "Will you sign it?"

Joey smiled. "I would love to, Keiko."

"Keiko?" Seto leaned toward her, frowning. "Keiko Chiba?"

The girl blinked up at him, then smiled brightly, reaching her hands out to him. He took them more on instinct than anything. "Mr. Kaiba! I didn't expect to see you here! Have you met Mr. Joey? He helped me out of the apartment when it fell down and pushed me and Mei in this broken shopping cart to someone who could help! Isn't he great?"

"…Yeah," the brunet answered, smile forced. "He is. You want a candy bar before you go, Keiko?" When she nodded, she grabbed the blond by the collar of his jacket and pulled him up. "Joey will come with me in case he wants one too. Twix?"

Keiko nodded, oblivious. "Please!"

"We'll be right back."

Joey allowed himself to be dragged, because he really wasn't in any position to beat someone up. "Kaiba, what the hell?"

Seto waited until they turned the corner before he whipped back toward him, swallowing convulsively before he muttered, "My secretary has pictures of her nieces all over her desk. She was just talking about how her sister and brother-in-law were getting ready to move into another apartment the other day. They were supposed to move in a week. And now you're telling me that her sister and brother-in-law are dead and those kids were there when it happened—" He cut himself off and sighed through his nose forcefully.

Joey blinked up at him, then reached out to grab his hand. "Man, Kaiba. You're the luckiest unlucky bastard in the world."

Seto snorted, half amused and half disgusted, as his eyes lingered on the gauze taped to his forehead. "I think that title belongs to _you_, Wheeler."

"Coulda been worse," Joey shot back and when the brunet blinked at him, he smirked. "I coulda lost my deck, too."

Seto let out a noise that left no doubt that if Joey hadn't already had a head injury, he would have slammed his head into the wall.


	7. Video Game

Author's Note: There's a word to describe this sort of writing: CRACKY. Allow me to get this out of my system. Try not to get too confused!

*flies away into the sun*

* * *

Video Game

"Kaiba," Téa said, eyes drifting over the scenery. "I just have to wonder… _Why_ did you think a game like this would be a good idea?"

"Minorities were bitching that I didn't include them in character choice, so I flipped it so that no one had a choice what sex their character was. To add insult to injury, I made sure they were always given the opposite sex," the brunette replied, fixing her sleeve and frowning at her shirt, which had a large heart-shaped cut out to expose her moderate cleavage. "Admittedly, I did not realize that they were keeping the clothing designs. I will probably have to change that."

Téa shrugged, frowning as well as he examined her outfit. "Hey, boobs are great. I just think that if you're going to war, you should maybe cover the area where, I don't know, your _heart is?_"

Seto turned to glare at her—him—whatever. "I'm sorry that it's mostly males that buy our games and we need to appeal to them."

"How about with a good storyline instead of a good rack?" Téa retorted, placing his hands on his hips.

Seto thought about punching him, but wasn't quite sure it would count as not hitting a girl for Téa, considering she was actually a female (and also Téa might actually hit him in real life, and he'd seen Joey and Tristan flinch enough to know that that was not a Good Thing).

"How do you walk in these?!" Yugi yelped, staggering over to cling to Téa's arm. Her ankles looked like they might snap in her red pumps. "I'm going to break my neck!"

"Honey, you have to put your heel down first, not walk around like a penguin with flat feet," Téa sighed, grabbing her hands and beginning to lead her around so she could get the hang of it. "There's a reason you hear 'click tap' when girls walk. Click of the heel, tap of the sole."

Yugi grumbled that she really didn't think heels were necessary until Téa pointed out that her butt looked fantastic. Then she had to concede.

Seto turned to face Tristan and raised an eyebrow when she saw that the other brunette was wandering around in rather manageable shoes. They had shorter heels, and Seto wondered if that was because Tristan had chosen a warrior class instead of a mage or the like. She glanced down at her own black leather boots, frowning at the high, thin heel she had. Perhaps a warrior class would have been better instead of a summoner.

Perhaps Téa was right about the clothing designs for women, because she could barely see the toes of her boots over her boobs. Maybe she should design some women's clothing made of chainmail that was actually protective, because she just felt awkward with her cleavage hanging out.

Seto almost choked on her own spit when Joey went strutting by in the same shoes, only in white, with pink accents and ribbons. She took a moment to be glad that her shoes weren't nearly so girly (still _too_ girly for a fight with a monster, though), but quickly cast the thought aside as the blonde stopped beside her shorter friend and showed her how to use her hips to walk.

"Joey, what the hell," Tristan asked, and everyone nodded, because _what the hell._

"Bitch please," Joey snorted, flipping her long hair over her shoulder attractively. "Serenity needed someone t' show her how t' walk in heels in New York. If ya thought my ma was gonna be that person you're wrong because Ma broke her ankle ice-skatin' when she was seventeen and doesn't _do_ heels anymore."

Seto gaped, because why did that make sense? Why couldn't Joey have just found an actual girl to teach Serenity how to walk in heels?

Tristan elbowed her in the side, making her flail and stumble before she got her balance and turned to glare at him. "_What,_ Taylor?!"

The brunette raised her eyebrows and smirked. "Do you remember that popularity contest Joey entered? White dress, nice pumps?"

Seto's eyes widened. Shit, she did remember that. If it hadn't been for the botched make-up job, Joey actually would have been really pretty (and would have had Seto's vote, because those legs, damn).

"Kaiba?" Téa said sweetly, which was all kinds of weird because first, male voice and second, when Téa used that tone in reality, she was judging him. "You're bleeding."

Seto lifted her hand to her face, blushing brightly as she wiped at the blood trickling from her nose. "I—"

Tristan glanced between her and Joey before looking back at her, eyes wide. "Oh my _God!_"

"No—" Seto began frantically, eyes widening.

Tristan covered her face, moaning, "I don't even know what to say!"

Yugi looked up from watching her shoes as she walked, blinking. "What are we talking about?"

"_Nothing!_" Seto shrieked, and when Tristan opened her mouth, she punched the other brunette in the arm quickly. "Shut up!"

Joey raised her eyebrows, frowning, then pursed her lips. "I feel like I missed somethin'."

Joey should never have been allowed in-game. Seto had difficulty with self-control in the real world, never mind now that Joey's lips were even more pouty and painted red.

Seto threw herself into a mud puddle, because that seemed like a better idea than looking at Joey and wanting to kiss her silly and maybe grab her boobs. It wasn't like they didn't think she was weird anyway.


	8. Computer

Author's Note: Set in a future where Joey is a social worker and Seto is still a big bad CEO. Fluff for everyone! _You_ get fluff, and _you_ get fluff!

* * *

Computer

"_I'll repeat myself if it makes you feel better,"_ Seto said, reading through a contract.

Joey sighed and leaned across the desk, let his eyes trace over the brunet's face. He knew that Seto didn't like repeating himself, so it was kind of a big deal. He tucked his chin up against his elbow, so the words were a bit muffled when he answered, "Couldja, please?"

Seto glanced up at him over his glasses, frowning, then set the contract aside and laced his fingers together. _"You became a social worker because you wanted to help children out of situations like the one you were in. You don't want children to suffer, to starve, to hurt like you did. You want to make sure they're put somewhere safe, where they won't have to worry about anyone hurting them ever again, or where their next meal will come from, or how they're going to pay for school. You have bad days sometimes, but once you finally place that child, get him some counseling, then you smile like you've saved the world all over again."_

Joey hid his face in his arm, both pleased and embarrassed by the words. "But I'm _not_ savin' the world."

Seto leaned forward. _"Joey, look at me."_ When the blond peeked up at him, blushing, he said, _"You're saving that child's world."_

The older man smiled as the blond flailed off the screen with an embarrassed squeal, chuckling softly as he pushed his glasses back up and returned to skimming the contract. When he noticed movement again, he lifted his gaze back to his camera.

Joey huffed in embarrassment, pushing his bangs out of his eyes. "God, when ya say things like that, makes me sound like a good person."

Seto rolled his eyes. _"You __**are**__ a good person, idiot."_

Joey glanced away, deciding not to explain that sometimes he had trouble believing it, when sometimes these kids had to go home to shitty places with shitty family because things were bad, but they weren't quite bad _enough._ "Okay."

The brunet peered at him skeptically, then set the contract aside again and sighed, leaning back in his seat. _"I don't know what to say to cheer you up, Joey. If I could, I'd cuddle up with you and watch a movie I hate to help you relax, but now you're in Kyoto and will be for a week."_ He frowned, brows furrowing together. _"If this is how you felt while I was on __**my**__ business trips, I'm incredibly sorry."_

"I always wanted t' reach through the phone and rub your feet," Joey teased, smiling a little. "You always like it when I do."

"_You know I don't believe in magic,"_ Seto said, and the blond rolled his eyes impressively hard in response. _"So you must know how great the compliment is when I say you have __**magic hands.**__"_

Joey grinned, because that _was_ a great compliment. "Yeah?"

He didn't know how Seto didn't believe in magic after all of the evidence to the contrary, but he was always impressed about how deep into denial the brunet could go. He'd refused to believe Mokuba would move out, didn't say anything when his brother packed up, didn't mention the charge on his bank statement for the moving company. When Mokuba had dinner with them every week, he talked like Mokuba hadn't left at all.

When he'd asked Mokuba if he was comfortable about it all, the younger boy had just shrugged. "He's happy this way," he'd said, as if that was all that mattered to him, and maybe that was all that did, after seeing his brother suffer and struggle for so many years.

Sometimes he wished he'd been around to help Seto and Mokuba, too.

"_I know you'll probably be too drained to go out to dinner when you get home,"_ Seto continued after a moment, when he saw the blond was lost in thought. _"But I've learned a thing or two in the kitchen, and maybe…?"_

"If it doesn't turn out, I've always loved it when ya make me sandwiches," Joey replied, smiling when the older man's face twitched, like he was torn between pride and disgruntlement. But hey, his abilities (and lack thereof) in the kitchen were legendary. "I'm sure it'll turn out. But if an act of God or somethin' happens, like lightnin' hittin' the oven through the window or something, make sure ya have roast beef for sandwiches, too."

"_I highly doubt that lightning will hit the oven."_ The brunet glared at him, then sighed, glancing away petulantly. _"But I'll have someone go pick up some roast beef anyway."_

"Dinner will be great, we'll have sex, and then eat sandwiches as a power snack afterward for more sex," Joey compromised, and he watched the other man immediately perk up. Dinner would probably be fine, anyway. Seto hadn't set the fire alarm off in a few months.

Seto looked incredibly smug. _"Serenity showed me how to make those pancakes you like, too, so I can make those for breakfast."_

Joey thought about telling him that banana and chocolate chip pancakes weren't hard as long as the bananas were ripe enough, but he looked so proud of himself, he just couldn't take that away. He grinned. "Even though it's a kid's breakfast?"

"_Only children eat chocolate for breakfast,"_ Seto sniffed, leaning back in his seat.

The blond rolled his eyes. "Ya like kissin' me after I eat." He paused, then grinned. "Ya like it when I make banana and chocolate ice-cream."

"_It's not ice-cream if it doesn't have milk in it!"_ the older man roared. _"It's just frozen bananas and chocolate sauce in a food processor!"_

Joey laughed, because sometimes it was so easy to push his lover's buttons.

It wasn't until they'd ended the call that he realized the tension in his shoulders had eased and he wasn't feeling as down as he'd been before.


	9. Famous

Author's Note: Thug!Joey is my king. Actually just dysfunctional adult Joey and Seto are my kings. Fluff for everyone! \o/

* * *

Famous

Joey turned as he heard the door open, raising his eyebrows when no one called out 'I'm home.' "Uh."

Mokuba scrambled off the couch. "Budge over."

"Whyyyy," he whined, but moved over so the younger boy could squeeze onto the loveseat with him.

He got his answer when, not a minute later, Seto trudged into the living room and threw himself onto the couch face-first. He made a noise that was part whine, part groan and covered his head with a pillow.

Joey raised an eyebrow and extended his leg so he could prod the brunet with his foot. "What's wrong?"

"_Nyreagh._"

The blond squinted at him. "That almost sounded like words."

"He always gets like this after some rag magazine publishes stuff about him," Mokuba explained, standing up, and walked over to being unbuckling his brother's boots. "Usually stuff that isn't true."

"Oh." Joey paused, then got to his feet as well. He squatted by the brunet's head and gently stroked his hair, cooing, "Ya want me t' make beef filet for dinner?"

"Mph."

The younger man pursed his lips. "That wasn't a word."

Mokuba snorted. "If it was a no, he would have sounded like a dying whale."

Seto let out a loud, drawn-out sound that was almost like a muffled, wounded bellow.

Joey raised his eyebrows. "…I see." The sad part was, he actually _was_ beginning to understand Kaiba's moods. If someone had told him when he was sixteen that he'd even come close to understanding Seto Kaiba, he would have laughed (and probably punched their teeth in, depending on whether it was pre-Yugi or not, he wasn't going to lie about it). "Well, I'll go start dinner, then."

Seto made a quiet groaning sound that didn't sound as offended as the rest. Joey figured that he was thanking him. He patted him on the head affectionately before going to the kitchen to start dinner.

.-.-.-.-.-.

The rag magazine had published an article about how terrible Seto was to work for, citing the amount of people that were fired or let go or downsized each year and completely ignoring the fact that he hired twice as many people as were let go. There was even a quote from a former employee that described his expulsion from the company where Seto had screamed at him and told him to get out with extremely colorful language.

Joey did some digging, because he didn't like the way Seto moped when he was being reamed out by his PR lady. When Seto had a long meeting but wanted to get together for lunch, Joey got to the building early, asking employees here and there for information, and also bugging any HR officer he came across.

Seto fought tooth and nail to keep from downsizing if he could help it, only backing down when his investors insisted by way of pointing to their stock options. He had very good retirement packages, paid internships, and severance packages for when he did have to let people go. It was just the idiots he fired, the people that thought they were too good for their positions.

Joey showed up to the former employee's house that had been quoted in the magazine, smile a bit too sharp and eyes a bit too mean.

It wasn't much, but Seto smiled a little at the photo Mokuba sent him of the man's terrified face as Joey had a chat with him. Joey was a menace, but a menace to people he didn't like, and Seto was glad that Joey was fond of him.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto trudged into the living room, fell onto the couch, and groaned like he was dying.

Joey raised an eyebrow at him. "Wow, it's been a whole five months since ya came home like this."

The brunet groaned again. Mokuba stood to pull his shoes off, then struggled to help him get his jacket off. It was difficult, because Seto was deadweight, but he eventually managed. He paused as he got a good look at his brother's socks, then covered his mouth to stifle a chuckle when he realized they were Blue-Eyes White Dragon socks. He acted like such an adult, and then he wore socks with Duel Monsters on them.

Joey stood and stroked the older man's hair, then patted his shoulder. "Stay here for a minute."

Seto made a grumbling noise and almost rolled off the couch with his annoyed squirming. The blond only judged him a little, since he'd had a hard day.

Seto heard him come back but kept his face buried in the couch. He was too busy sulking.

Joey squeezed his shoulder lightly. "Hey, asshole, look at me."

"Ugh." The brunet lifted his head, scowling, but frowned instead when he saw the book in his hands. "Did you steal one of Yugi's girly memory-keeping books?"

"They're called scrapbooks," the younger man told him primly. "…Also yes, but when he confronted me about it, he decided it was for a good cause and helped me put this together for ya. Because he likes ya. And I like ya. So sit up like a big boy and take a look."

Seto prudently kept the opinion that scrapbooking was stupid to himself, because he was almost certain Joey would punch him, and he really wasn't in the mood to get hurt after his terrible day. "Do I have to?"

Joey glared at him, clearly getting his point across that _yes,_ he had to.

The brunet sighed loudly and sat up, grumbling, and took the book from him. "…Is this supposed to be me?" he asked, deadpanned, as he saw the crayon picture on the front of the scrapbook.

The blond beamed at him. "I found it in that box ya kept of all of the stuff Mokuba's ever given ya! I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and say he's gotten better at drawin' ya."

Seto hummed, unable to help thinking that it was sweet, now. "…He gave me purple eyes."

"Clearly he ran out of the blue crayon colorin' the sky," the younger man huffed.

"…The sky is green?"

"Okay, your little brother might be a little colorblind. We should look into that. Open the book!" Joey hissed, slapping his arm.

Seto sighed again and rolled his eyes, then pulled the cover of the book open. His breath hitched a little when he saw the newspaper article carefully glued to the first page, detailing how he'd taken over the company after his step-father's death and how he wasn't allowing the tragedy to deter from his work ethic. They'd only had only good things to say, hoping that he'd turn the company around.

He glanced up at Joey and swallowed. "Did you—"

"Shhh, I'm readin'," the blond whispered, batting at his face as he stared intently at the paper. His eyes weren't moving, so he wasn't actually reading, but Seto didn't call him out on it. He turned the page instead, and Joey didn't complain that he'd been reading then.

The next page was covered in little snippets, pictures from old newspapers as people reported the way he'd transformed his step-father's weapons company into a toy company. Most of the articles were in awe of how he'd flipped it around so quickly, and others commended him for catering to the fun children should have instead of promoting violence.

The page after that was full of clippings from fashion magazines, some of them complimenting him in his sharp suits, and other magazines posting pictures of him in his trench coats with just question marks beside them. Joey had soothed the sting with little additions of 'this outfit gave me inappropriate boners during the tournament' and 'purple is kind of your color but I liked the coat better on the floor.' He especially liked the card stock surrounding one picture with dozens of arrows and just the words 'YES PLEASE.'

He trailed his fingers over a few more pages of articles extolling all of his triumphs and victories before he came to pages just covered in writing. He frowned, brows furrowing together, until his eyes zeroed in on the most familiar writing.

_You're the best brother in the world and I love you even when you're having a bad day._

_Love, Mokuba_

Seto breathed in sharply and resolutely ignored the sting behind his eyes.

_You're weird and sometimes your dragon collection intimidates me, but I love you anyway._

_-Joey_

Seto blinked. "I'm weird and my dragon collection intimidates you?" That didn't really make him feel better.

"I stole this book and then I had t' have Yugi help me put it together. If that doesn't prove I love ya, I don't know what does," Joey retorted.

Well, that did make sense, the brunet admitted. Joey wasn't really for sentimental things, preferring to buy him flowers or take him out for dinner. He always got really embarrassed when he got things that Seto could keep and remember exactly when and why he'd given it to him.

He still had the entwined dragons that Joey had gotten for their six month anniversary. Joey still blushed when he saw it sitting on his desk at work, and he adored that fact.

Seto turned his attention to the other notes, breath hitching again as he realized they were from his employees—his secretaries, a few board members, even the woman at the front desk that he said good morning to every day even though he could never remember her name (it was Nina, but she'd signed both with her name and 'front desk girl,' because apparently he hadn't been sneaky enough about checking out her name plate).

He was certain that if he looked up the names he didn't recognize, they'd work in different areas of his company. He even recognized a few from people that had retired, people that had stayed on from his step-father's era and had dived into toy-making with a vengeance, as if to make up for sending weapons out into the world. If he recalled correctly, one of the men that had taken the time to jot a note with shaky writing was turning seventy-five, soon.

Seto swallowed, then swallowed again, because he hadn't been able to get the lump in his throat down the first time. "…Joey."

Joey peered up at him from beneath his lashes, biting his bottom lip in embarrassment. "Yeah?"

"…Thank you," he said quietly, then curled his fingers around the back of his neck to pull him into a kiss.

Joey leaned back, smiling shyly. "I just wanted ya t' have somethin' good t' come home to after ya have a bad day."

"I don't know. That picture of you threatening that guy made me feel pretty good," the brunet admitted, smirking.

The younger man preened, because he didn't have the money to impress him like Seto did, so it was nice to know that Seto appreciated the things he _could_ do. He ignored the voice in the back of his head that sounded oddly like his sister, saying that he shouldn't be proud of threatening to bust people's kneecaps.

The blond sighed and leaned in to kiss his cheek, smiling, then stood up. "I'm gonna go make dinner. Ya gonna come stick your fingers in everything and piss me off?"

"…No," Seto replied, letting his eyes drift back down to the scrapbook. He let his fingers trace over Mokuba and Joey's notes, smiling a little. "I'll stay and read this a little while, first."

Joey kissed his cheek again, chuckling. "Lasagna okay?"

The brunet grabbed his hand and lifted it so he could kiss the back of it gently. "Lasagna is great."

The younger man rolled his eyes in embarrassment, but he couldn't deny that he was pleased. "Ugh, so sappy. I'mma go get dinner started, don't sit here too long."

"Okay." Seto turned to watch him go, then returned his attention to the book, marveling at the pages and pages of notes from his employees that only said good things about him. He hadn't realized that people saw him beyond the signature on their paychecks. It was nice to see that they noticed he wasn't a terrible person like those magazines sometimes said he was.


	10. Emotion

Author's Note: Yugi and Téa get married at twenty-two. Seto and Joey start dating a few weeks after the wedding. Joey moves in with Seto at twenty-six. Miscommunication is a trope I find myself enjoying a lot these days. \o/

* * *

Emotion

"I swear t' God, if you cry, I'm gonna hit ya."

Seto turned toward the blond immediately, disgruntled. "_What._ Why would you assume I'm going to cry? …_Why_ would you punish me for crying?!"

Joey turned to glare at him. "Because if _you_ cry, then _I'm_ gonna cry. That shit's not okay. We still hafta take more pictures!"

"It's not like you're wearing make-up you have to touch up. We got most of the pictures done already, anyway," the brunet mumbled, straightening his tie.

Joey batted his hands away, still scowling. "Stop it. You're gonna get your tie all sweaty."

Seto rolled his eyes and sighed, loudly. "I am _not._ Will you please just _calm down?_"

"_No!_" Joey snapped, eyebrow twitching. "This wedding is kinda important t' me if ya didn't notice!" He looked as if he might hit him for a moment.

Luckily, Téa swooped in, grabbing his shoulders and giving them a squeeze. "Joey, it's about to start. Serenity wants to see you beforehand."

Joey inhaled with a wheeze, hands spasming anxiously before he turned and stalked away. "Fine."

Seto stared after him, frowning in both concern and annoyance. "You know, he's not the only one that's had to worry about the wedding going well."

"He's projecting," Téa explained, grabbing his arm with one hand and using the other to lift her skirt as she dragged him in front of the French doors. "And you're the easiest target, hon'. He'll apologize later once he has some time to calm down and realize what a jerk he's being to you." She smacked his hand away from his tie when he went to straighten again. "But seriously, stop touching your tie."

The older man rolled his eyes again. It was like they didn't believe he was twenty-eight years old and could take care of himself. "Fine."

"And he's kind of jealous, too, so you'll have to cut him a little slack," she added, not unkindly. Téa straightened her back and fixed her bouquet as the music started.

Seto frowned. "Why is he jealous?"

Téa elbowed him in the side, lips spreading into a wide smile. "You know, with the wedding and everything. Okay, I know it's too much to ask you to smile, but _don't frown,_ you idiot."

The brunet muttered something about not being able to smile when his wallet was still crying out in pain from having to shell out for the wedding. She elbowed him again, a little harder, before dragging him forward the first few steps.

Luckily, he caught up and kept pace with her. He couldn't help the smallest of smiles when he saw Mokuba standing at the altar, pulling on the cuffs of his shirt as he tried to peer between their shoulders to see his bride. He could understand how Joey could be jealous, having to give his sister away when he'd spent so long protecting her—

"Whatever you're thinking, you're wrong," Téa muttered out of the side of her mouth as they came to the end of the aisle and let go of his arm.

Seto blinked but took his place beside Mokuba. He supposed Joey wouldn't be _too_ jealous of Mokuba. He thought well of his younger brother, after all, and Mokuba would always be able to take care of her. What was there to be jealous of?

"_Why are ya even invitin' Kaiba t' your weddin'?" Joey sighed, carrying a large, heavy box in from the back room of the shop. "He's not gonna come. Matrimony sees him and __**cries,**__ Yug'."_

"_It does not," Yugi retorted, then frowned. "…Joey, matrimony isn't a person, it's—"_

_Joey ruffled his hair and cooed. "Aw, I know that. It's cute when ya think I'm stupid and try t' correct me without makin' me feel bad."_

_The smaller man let out a muffled noise of distress. "I don't mean to make you feel bad, Joey!"_

"_I know. That's why I don't get mad. You're so nice, it's almost aggravatin'." The blond patted his shoulder fondly and began heaving some heavy chess sets onto a shelf that he couldn't even imagine reaching on his own._

_Yugi sighed. "It would be rude to invite Mokuba and not Kaiba to the wedding, Joey."_

_Joey rolled his eyes. "Ya remember that article in the magazine? Kaiba doesn't __**do**__ weddings."_

"_For me."_

_Joey jumped and flailed, cursing when he dropped one of the chess sets on his foot. "__**Fuck!**__"_

_Seto stared at him for a moment, then turned, approaching Yugi instead. "I said I would never have a wedding. I never said I wouldn't go to other people's weddings." He placed his RSVP on the counter. "I will not be bringing a plus one, but thank you for the thought. Where are you and Gardner registered?"_

_Yugi blinked up at him. "…Uh."_

_Joey squinted at him skeptically. "That was really polite."_

_The brunet sniffed. "Thank you."_

"_How long did Mokuba hafta coach ya?"_

"_Only ten minutes. I thought it would be inappropriate to show up the other wedding guests with an expensive gift that they might not use," Seto replied._

_Yugi leaned his face in his hands because that explained __**so much**__ about what just happened._

"Oh," Seto said as Yugi and one of Serenity's friends from college parted at the end of the aisle.

Mokuba glanced at him in concern and whispered, "What is it?"

Seto tilted his head to stare at the roof of the church, exhaling through his nose in frustration. "I fucked uuuup."

"At least you realized it and are going to try and make up for it," Yugi whispered back, beaming up at him.

Both Kaibas sighed and rolled their eyes.

Then the wedding march got louder, and Joey appeared at the door, offering his arm to his little sister who was such a vision in white that it took Seto's breath away, and he wasn't even the groom. He had no idea how such beautiful people had decided that he and his brother were worth dealing with, but he was glad for it every minute.

He felt heat at the back of his eyes, a lump in his throat, but he manfully forced them back, because Joey didn't want him to cry and _damn it he was twenty-eight years old._ He didn't _cry_ at weddings, especially not his little brother's.

.-.-.-.-.-.

When he finally had a moment to pull Joey aside, it was after the last of the professional pictures had been taken and Serenity and Mokuba were taking a moment before the reception to make gooey eyes at each other.

"Congrats on not cryin', asshole," Joey said, clapping him on the shoulder. He smiled up at him, then sighed and leaned his forehead against the brunet's shoulder. "Man, I'm tired."

"You've been running yourself ragged for the past week." Seto slid an arm around his waist. "Joey, do you want to get married?"

The blond snorted, but it didn't sound amused. "Please don't make fun of me right now."

Seto frowned. "I'm not trying to make fun of you."

"Seto, ya said you never wanted t' get married. Who'm I am t' try and change your mind?" Joey asked softly. "You don't wanna and I don't _need_ t' get married, so it's… it's okay. It's not like I didn't know about it goin' int' this."

The brunet leaned back to look down at him, raising an eyebrow. "Do you know why I don't want to get married, Joey?"

The younger man blinked up at him. "Nnnnoooo…?"

Seto sighed, glanced at the ceiling as if praying for strength, then looked back down at him. "So women couldn't try and marry me and then divorce me and take my money."

Joey blinked. "…And ya figure I wouldn't try t' take your money if I divorced ya?"

"Hah!" The brunet barked out a laugh and lifted a hand to rub his temple. "Joey, I don't think you'd _allow_ me to divorce you if we got married. You'd take me to counseling first, which might just be worse." He looked back down at him, smiling. "Besides, even if you did decide to divorce me, I'm almost certain that you'd insist on paying me alimony just to spite me."

"…Yeah, that sounds like me," the younger man muttered thoughtfully. He shrugged. He wasn't going to deny something that was clearly true.

Seto cleared his throat awkwardly. "I'm just saying, if you wanted to get married… we could discuss it."

"I'm so glad you're not actually proposin' t' me." Joey peeked up at him, eyes shiny with tears as he grinned. "Serenity would get so mad if ya proposed t' me and upstaged her weddin', she'd cut off your balls, I swear t' God."

Seto grimaced at the thought. She probably would. "Let's not even tell her that we discussed it. We decided to talk about it tomorrow at lunch instead."

"You're cute when you're scared of my sister," Joey cooed.

The brunet did not correct him and tell him that he was actually just sort of scared of Wheelers in general. Serenity had a glare worse than his, Joey had a temper, and their mother could make remarks so cutting they could slice through steel if she wanted.

"Let's go get drunk and pretend that we didn't want to cry at the ceremony," Seto suggested, using the arm he had around the blond's waist to steer him toward the reception hall.

"Man, I thought I was gonna hafta pull out a hankie or somethin' for ya. That was so cute, Seto. I wouldn't have really punched ya."

The brunet snorted. "You would have thought about it."

"But I wouldn't 've actually _done_ it," Joey repeated defensively.

Seto sighed. "Do you want champagne or something you might actually like?"

"I'll have a glass of champagne t' toast them, give the rest of my glass t' you, and drink fruity cocktails instead." The blond smiled up at him. "And think about what we're gonna talk about tomorrow, when Serenity and Mokuba are off on their honeymoon."

"Ugh." The brunet sighed again, but he smiled a little anyway, giving his waist an extra squeeze. "Remember, Serenity doesn't need to know about me suggesting it today."

"I'd say that's kinda a given, considerin' I need ya alive t' marry ya," Joey teased, then turned and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

Seto let his eyes drift shut, allowing the younger man to kiss him for a few more minutes before continued into the reception hall. "Come on, I want to take embarrassing pictures in front of their cake."

Joey laughed and reached into his pocket to check for his phone, because that sounded like a wonderful idea.


	11. Run

Author's Note: UUUUUUGH what even is this. OTL I apologize. I've had this idea forever and the execution just isn't what I imagined at all.

* * *

Run

Seto pulled his jacket tighter around his body and tried to keep his teeth from chattering, one hand buried in his brother's hair and the other on the gun in the pocket on the inside of his jacket. He thought back to his bed, king-sized and covered with thick blankets, and closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again when he heard footsteps at the end of the alley. He swallowed thickly and gripped the gun tighter, easing it out of his pocket and taking off the safety.

The footsteps paused on the other side of the crate they were hidden in. Then, the person rapped their knuckles on the side of the crate. "Oi. You're in my box."

_People kept track of the boxes and crates they slept in?!_

Seto hesitated. Maybe it was a trick. Maybe they were just saying that to get him to come out.

The person rapped the side of the box again. "'least gimme my blankets then."

Seto looked down at the ragged cloth beneath them in surprise.

Swinging around the side of the crate, the guy sighed. "Just give them t' me, asshole—Kaiba."

The brunet swallowed thickly. "Wheeler."

Joey narrowed his eyes at him, then at the gun in his hand. "What's that for?" He glanced at the blankets they were huddled on, then back up at him. "…Why're ya sleepin' in a box?"

Seto scowled at him, because that seemed better than breaking down. "Go away."

"This 'cause o' that shootin' at the press conference? Must be," he said to himself thoughtfully. "You're sleepin' in a box."

"We're not sleeping," Seto retorted indignantly, because he didn't want to think he had sunk so low after clawing his way to the top. He paused when Mokuba let out a snore. "…_I'm_ not sleeping."

Joey stared at them a moment, then shrugged. "Yeah, okay. Can I have my blankets?"

The night would be unbearable without them. Seto thought about saying no.

"…Is there a reason you're sleepin' in a box?" the blond asked after a moment. "There wasn't a safe house ya could go to?"

Seto huffed. "Roland said they'd already shot up one of them, and he didn't trust the others. He was going to set up a decoy for us, but that meant that we were on our own until he signaled an all-clear in the newspaper. The madam of the orphanage sent us this way when I went to her for help. She said only an idiot would come after us in this part of town."

"She's probably right," Joey mused, then sighed. "Come on, then."

The brunet blinked at him, confused. "What?"

The younger man sighed again and rolled his eyes, stooping to tug at the blankets beneath them. "I'll take ya somewhere safe."

"Why would you do that?" Seto asked, eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"Oh for the love of God." Joey cuffed him on the back of the head. "Come on, asshole. If I wanted ya dead, I'd just leave ya here."

That seemed true enough, he figured. He stood, wincing as his cramped muscles protested the movement, then turned and scooped Mokuba up, even though he was really too big to be carried anymore. After all of the sneaking and running of the past few days, he couldn't bring himself to wake him.

Joey turned toward him, eyeing him thoughtfully, then held his hand out to him. "Gimme the gun though."

Seto froze. He'd forgotten he'd had it in hand. Good lord, the safety was still off.

"Yeeeah, I'm just gonna take it," the blond said, easing the gun from his grip and flipping the safety back on. "Just follow me."

The older man nodded and heaved his brother a little higher. "Alright."

.-.-.-.-.-.

"Dad, I got some friends, stay outta my face," Joey called, holding the door open. He reached out with a grunt. "Don't take your shoes off."

Seto raised his eyebrows. "I—"

The blond shrugged, frowning. "Too much glass in the carpet." He waved them after him, shooting a glare at the old man on the couch. "Come on."

He followed the younger man into an even smaller room, and he wondered for a moment how anyone could live in such a small space. Then he remembered that it was all Joey could afford, most likely, and he felt badly for thinking like that.

He eased Mokuba down onto the blond's small bed, letting out a grunt when he fell the last few inches with him. "Ow. Mokuba, stop growing immediately."

Joey snorted and rolled his eyes, smiling a little. "Wow, okay." He watched the brunet roll over onto his back and sit up, scooting toward the edge of the bed. "You can take your shoes off now. I don't let Dad throw shit in here."

Seto looked at his shoes, suddenly feeling exhausted down to his bones.

"…Or not," the blond murmured, raising his eyebrows a little. He took in the older man's slumped shoulders and knelt in front of him, untying his left shoe and picking the laces loose until he could pull it off for him. He hissed in sympathy when the brunet groaned and he saw that his socks were actually a bit bloody from some of his blisters. "Guess your boots woulda been more comfortable than these loafer things."

Seto bent his toes, clenching the sheet covering the blond's mattress with white knuckles. "_Shit._"

Joey smiled up at him reassuringly, otherwise he might cry a little. "It's okay, I mean, I think I have a bucket somewhere!" He peeled his other shoe off and bit his bottom lip as that sock was a bit redder than the other. "We can soak 'em in warm water and then I'll find ya some shoes that won't kill ya."

"…Okay," the older man replied after a moment. He leaned his head back to look at the ceiling and sighed, then looked back down at the blond. "Thank you. For your help."

"Meh." Joey shrugged. "I'd feel bad if ya died in this neighborhood."

Seto blinked at him in disbelief. "You _live_ in this neighborhood."

"I took your gun from ya and put the safety on without even lookin' for it," the blond deadpanned. "I'm kinda used t' this place."

"…You shouldn't be," Seto told him after a moment. He glanced at the door, thinking about the carpet outside that was so dangerous that he'd had to keep his shoes on. He remembered that Joey had claimed a box, put his own blankets in it, and had been on his way to sleep in it had they not been there. "Why do you still live here?"

Joey shrugged. "Why not? It's good enough until I can save up enough money for my own place. Sometimes I hafta sleep in boxes, but ya know, I've been doin' this so long, it's not so bad anymore." He peeked up at the older man from beneath his lashes, smirking. "I mean, it's not like people are shootin' at me durin' a press conference."

"Did you just joke about someone trying to kill me?" To say he was unimpressed was an understatement. Seto glared at him. "They could have hit _Mokuba._"

"Oh, but shootin' at you is okay?" the blond laughed, shaking his head. "God, Kaiba, you are so weird. It's a good thing I'm used t' that, though." He smiled up at him, then stood, dusting the knees of his jeans off. "I'll be back with some water for your feet."

Seto fingered the roll of bills in his pocket that Madam Hiroshi had pushed into his hands before she'd directed him away, wondering if he should tuck a couple into the blond's pocket before he left. He was almost certain that that was part of the reason she'd given him the money—to pay for help. He didn't think that Joey would accept it though.

Maybe he'd sneak it into his shoe or pillowcase or something before he and Mokuba had to move again, to keep whoever was trying to kill them this time off their tracks.


	12. Fear

Fear

Seto ran his hands through his hair and sighed, pacing around the edge of his small house. He checked that all of his potions and ingredients were organized and put away, the floor was swept, and his bed was made. He checked his watch, his reflection in the mirror, and the plants. He looked at the floor and thought about mopping.

"Why are you putting this off?" Kisara sighed, leaning her head on her hand. She lifted her feet, hand pulling her skirt up, as the broom swept by again. "Call off your broom, Seto. At this rate, you'll ruin the floor."

Seto ran his hands through his hair again and let out a long breath that he hadn't even realized he'd been holding. "What if he doesn't like it? Two girls have already turned and gotten back in their carriages."

"If he doesn't like it, he's not worth it," she replied, shrugging, and got to her feet. She trailed her fingers over the table, which probably hadn't been dusted for _years_ until just a few weeks ago. "You're giving him false pretences anyway. How is he supposed to know he's marrying a slob when all he sees is this spotless little home?"

The brunet turned toward her, concerned. "It _is_ small, isn't it?"

"You like your little house. Easy to defend." Kisara flipped her long hair over her shoulder. "Please stop over thinking this. If he gets back in his carriage and leaves, then you can finally turn your eye on commoners like you've always wanted. At least you can tell your uncle that you _tried_ to find a 'proper' mate—er, wife." She frowned and scratched her head thoughtfully. "I don't really understand your customs or hierarchy. Wife is correct, yes?"

Seto opened his mouth to tell her that the word she was looking for was 'spouse,' and that men were 'husbands,' but was cut off by a knock on the door. He inhaled so sharply that it sounded like a squeak, but he would deny it until they day he died. "_He's here._"

She blinked at him, concerned for his mental health. "He's been here. They've been waiting for you to open the door."

Seto let out a noise that was almost decipherable as _'impossible'_ but moved toward the door anyway. He took a deep breath, let it out, then drew himself up straight, as if he hadn't been panicking about how some stranger that might turn out to be his spouse has been waiting to be invited inside.

He opened his mouth to greet the man, but all that came out was a wheeze when he found sharp brown eyes glaring up at him out of an incredibly attractive face framed by blond hair. Shit, that wasn't a good sign.

"Is something wrong?" the blond spat, scowling. "Are you backing out? Because that's a really shitty thing to do after the long trip. I mean can I at least get my driver some water? It's really hot out here."

Seto took a step back to allow him inside, speechless. The two princesses that had decided to 'grace' him with their presences had sniffed at him in disgust and flounced back into their carriages without even a word. He didn't really know how to respond to this.

Kisara glanced between them frantically before smiling her most charming and disarming smile, walking toward him and holding her hand out. "You must be Prince Joseph. I'm Kisara, Seto's companion."

The blond turned to face her, looking deeply unimpressed. "A pleasure."

Her smile faded, and she slowly let her hand fall back to her side. "Er, the pleasure's all mine?"

Joseph gave them both a look of deep, _deep_ disdain before he walked back out again with a large glass. He came back into the house empty-handed, hands on his hips as he looked around the room. "Kind of a small place for a prince."

Seto rolled his eyes toward the ceiling. "I prefer not to be called a prince. My cousin is taking the throne and I truly don't care for it."

"Then why are you only looking at royalty for marriage?" Joseph asked, raising an eyebrow. "Princess Vivian of Washong and Princess Mai of Valentinio have already sent word around that you're not fit to marry, and yet I still got an invitation from your uncle that said you'd like to court and wed me."

The brunet snorted and shook his head. "Precisely. You got the invitation from my _uncle_ and not from me. I'd prefer to find some commoner that perhaps wouldn't mind living with me in a—oh, what did Princess Vivian call it?"

Kisara began picking at one of her cuticles, helpfully supplying, "A slovenly hovel."

"Oh, yes. Someone who wouldn't mind living in a _slovenly_ _hovel_ with me." Seto spread his hands. "But that would be offensive to the royal family. I have to at least _try_ to find a royal that would lower themselves to marry me before he'd allow me to marry what he considers beneath me."

Joseph blinked at him in surprise. "…I wouldn't say it's a hovel."

"…That's all you got out of that? Really?" the brunet asked, offended.

"I mean, the land around here is yours, right?" the younger man continued, glancing out the window.

Seto paused. "…Yes. Where else would I get the ingredients for my potions? People get very offended when you just tromp around their land and take their plant life."

Joseph hummed. "How do you feel about unicorns?"

"They're… big?" The brunet shrugged helplessly. "And sometimes I can get an entire horn for less than ten gold pieces?"

The blond turned toward him, brows furrowed together. "Why would you _ever_ pay more than five silver pieces for a unicorn horn?"

"They're not exactly easy to come by out here," Kisara replied, appearing offended by his tone.

"That's because you've got dragons. But male unicorns shed their horns every year, and they've been our kingdom's main source of income for centuries. Their horns aren't really the most valuable parts." Joseph scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Man, you're getting scammed over here. Over _horns._"

Seto thought it prudent to keep the fact that he'd paid fifteen pieces of gold for a horn once when he'd need it for a spell to himself, instead asking, "What's your point?"

The blond looked up at him in surprise, then pointed out the window. "I'll marry you if you let me build a paddock and barn so I can raise unicorns here."

Seto and Kisara stared at him in shock before the dragon in human form grabbed the brunet by his shoulder and heaved him into the corner. "This is probably the only royal you will ever get to marry. You _know_ your uncle will pitch a fit if he runs out of eligible royalty for you to court and you get to marry a commoner. This one's probably the only royal that isn't asking much of you."

"He wants to build a _barn_ and a _paddock_," Seto hissed, scowling. "How am I supposed to gather ingredients for potions if his unicorns _eat them?!_"

She huffed. "You're just being foolish now. He wants to build a paddock so they _don't_ go eating your ingredients. And you'd have easy access to unicorn horns and hair. This can only go well for you."

"Except for the fact that I'd have to marry him," Seto muttered petulantly.

Kisara glanced over her shoulder before looking back at him. "Well, he's not exactly hard on the eyes. Are you saying it would be a chore to fuck him once in a while?"

Joseph's head pushed between them as he leaned over their shoulders. "I can cross my ankles behind my head."

Seto and Kisara stared at him for a moment before she shoved the brunet aside, spinning to face him quickly. "_I_ will marry you, Prince Joseph."

Seto sputtered in disbelief. "Marriages between dragons and humans are not acknowledged as legal!"

"I believe we can make it work," Kisara said, placing her hand on the blond's shoulder.

She let out a yelp as the other man grabbed her around the waist and slung her outside before she could even blink, let out an offended huff as she brushed her skirt clean. "_Well!_"

The man sitting in the driver's seat of the carriage stared at her for a moment, stunned, before turning away, empty glass in hand. "I suppose asking for another glass of water would be out of the question at the moment."

"It appears as if Prince Joseph would gladly get you another one if you just asked," she pointed out, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

"I wouldn't ask Joey for a single drop right now with the way that man threw you out," the brunet retorted, shrugging. "He probably mentioned how flexible he was. That usually makes potential husbands react that way."

Kisara blinked up at him, confused, before circling the carriage and heaving herself up onto the seat beside him. "He gets a lot of suitors, then?"

"His parents have offered to pay _others_ a dowry if they'll marry him," the man sighed, rolling his eyes. "Most royals won't even consider it, though. Each royal of the Wheller family works up until they are eighteen first as a cook, then a farmer, and then a knight, men and women alike. Most royals want a spouse that will sit idly by, look pretty, and spread their legs at any time. When the Wheller family is _not_ working on diplomacy, they are working in the fields, or in the kitchens, or training with their knights."

She raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Oh really?"

He shrugged. "Also, they have pretty foul mouths. I can understand why you wouldn't believe me, of course. However, his parents have made him promise to try and keep a hold of his tongue until he can get a promise of marriage. He's getting too old for most people to want to marry and his parents are desperate to marry him off."

Kisara hummed thoughtfully. "I'll have to mention this to Seto, then. Perhaps he'd appreciate that about him and be more willing to marry him."

The man smirked. "I'm pretty sure you won't have to. If he's mentioning how flexible he is in bed, he likes his suitor and will probably do some convincing of his own."

Kisara heard a garbled shout just before a low keen from the house and nearly flailed off of the carriage in shock, bellowing, "YOUR WINDOWS ARE OPEN, YOU IDIOT!"

Seto came out ten minutes later, looking quite disheveled. "Good news. I'm getting married."

"_Ugh,_" she snapped, disgusted. "You smell sickeningly smug. Stop that immediately."

"…You probably shouldn't come back into the house for a few hours then," he replied, smirking. "At least until I have a chance to air it out and clean Prince Joseph up. Apparently most men aren't as good with their tongues as I am and I blew his mind."

"Among other things," the carriage driver muttered, and handed his empty glass to him. "I'll just go drink from the creek, then."

Kisara huffed and followed him. "It better not smell like sex by dinnertime!"

Seto shrugged. "Well—"

"I'm not asking you; I'm _telling_ you," she hissed, shooting him one last glare.

Seto hummed, tapping the rim of the glass, then turned and entered the house again, pausing in the doorway to give the blond a more thorough onceover. "My uncle is going to be insufferable about this."

"He should sit down with my mom and dad," Joseph grunted, his blissful expression quickly changing to annoyance. "They won't let me hear the end of it. Just don't tell them about the way I stormed in here, otherwise they'll scold me. I'm of age; I'm too old to be scolded."

The brunet raised his eyebrows, smiling a little. "As long as I don't have to help you build the paddock."

Joseph snorted, rolling his eyes. "I wouldn't trust you to build the paddock anyway."

"Good. I couldn't even build this house. My brother and Kisara had to do it for me."

The blond let out a startled bark of laughter and covered his face. "Hope I can get 'em t' help me build the barn, then!"

Seto placed the glass in the sink before walking over to sit down beside him. "Something can be arranged, I'm sure." He looked up at the ceiling, then sighed. "I'm a slob and the only reason this house is clean is because when I get stressed out, I organize things."

"I have a terrible temper and sometimes I can't control the accent I picked up working in the fields and kitchens," Joseph replied, shrugging. "Everyone has their flaws."

The brunet fell back on the bed and sighed, rubbing his face before turning onto his side to face him. "I snore."

The younger man shrugged again. "I sleep like a rock, so I think it'll be okay." He turned his head to smile at him. "I'm more nervous about the wedding. I hope you're ready for something extravagant, because eloping is out of the question, according to my mother."

Seto groaned loudly. "_No._"

"Her first born is finally getting married. Cut her some slack," the blond laughed. "Jeez."

"I refuse to wear a cape. My family always wants me in capes. They say I look dashing. I would rather traipse around in a dress than wear a cape."

Joseph smirked. "I'll make sure they pick out something with ruffles then."

Seto sighed. "_I'll wear a cape._"

"Good, because you don't have the legs for a dress anyway," the blond retorted, then began to laugh again

Seto started to laugh as well. He had a feeling he'd be doing that a lot, married to Joseph.


	13. Gamble

Author's Note: Lady Luck favors Joey more than she has ever favored Seto, is the thing.

* * *

Gamble

Seto blinked, stunned. "I have entered into a relationship with a card shark."

Joey shuffled the deck and smiled a little, shaking his head. "I'm not a card shark."

"Joey, you've been losing every other hand to give me my shirt back and then watch me take it off again," the brunet deadpanned, plucking at his shirt. "You even told me to do it slowly last time."

"Ain't my fault ya randomly suck," the younger man retorted as he dealt another hand. "But take your shirt off slow again, 'kay?"

Seto snorted in disbelief. "It's not random if it happens in a pattern!"

"It's not like I'm countin' cards." Joey smirked. "I'm bad at math, remember?"

Seto grumbled, flipping his cards over on the table. "—And I've lost again." He sighed and rolled his eyes, hooking his fingers under the hem of his shirt. He paused, looking up at the blond from under his lashes, then smirked and lifted his shirt slowly, flexing his stomach and rolling his hips as he pulled it over his head.

The cards flew out of Joey's hands. He couldn't help it. He liked his boyfriend's body and Seto was doing it on purpose. He figured Seto wouldn't mind.

Seto tossed his shirt onto the blond's head and began picking up the fallen cards. "Careful, mutt. You might start drooling."

Joey pulled the shirt off of his head and glared at him. "Suck my dick."

"Maybe later." The brunet smirked at him. "I'm determined to get you to at least give up a sock before the end of the hour."

"Ya won't be able t' make me give up a sock if ya have no clothes left," the younger man replied, his competitive nature returning with a vengeance. "Your pants are next. I demand a strip tease."

"You'll have to win this next hand." Seto tossed him some cards, imagining for one moment that he might win if he was the one dealing.

Joey set down a royal flush and beamed at him. "I can put on some music so ya can shake those hips, if ya want."

Seto wondered, not for the first time, why Joey couldn't use his ruthlessness in card games and fighting and put it toward learning. His grades could only have gotten better then. "Music will not be necessary," he replied tartly, and stood. He thumbed the button of his pants open and rolled his eyes when the blond leaned forward. "Play a little hard to get, please."

"I played hard t' get at the beginnin' and ya hated it."

"You _punched me in the face._"

Joey sniffed. "I thought ya were makin' fun of me again."

"The second time I asked?!" Seto exclaimed in disbelief.

The blond at least had the decency to blush a little. "…Third time's the charm?" When the older man huffed but shimmied his hips a little to get his pants down, he grinned. "I appreciated the courage it must've taken t' ask me a third time."

"I was ready to duck that time," Seto muttered, letting his pants fall down around his ankles and kicking them aside. "I will only be taking these pants off once, thank you."

The younger man smirked. "Says you." When Seto shot him an incredibly filthy look, he coughed and glanced away. "I mean. If ya win the next hand or not." He coughed again. "Because ya might. Right?"

'_Not if you have anything to do with it,'_ the brunet thought viciously, sitting back down. He stared at him, hard, and shuffled the deck again.

Joey laughed nervously and took the cards he was dealt. "Well, this game _has_ been goin' on a long time—"

"It's been two hours," Seto ground out, glaring at him. "I have to pick Mokuba up from school soon."

Joey frowned and checked his watch. Mokuba _did_ get out of school soon, and ever since he'd been in that car accident, Seto had insisted on picking him up. Not because he was worried or anything, of course, but because his insurance premiums had gone up again.

Seto was weird.

"Alright, alright, we'll get this over with," the blond sighed. He looked through his cards, discarded a few, drew some more, then put his hand down. "Straight."

Seto bellowed angrily. "HOW."

Joey beamed at him. "You gettin' naked is a great motivation."

The older man threw his hands up in frustration, then stood, shoving his underwear down. "You're impossible. Are you happy now?"

"Man, you're a sore loser," the blond muttered, crawling around the coffee table to approach him. "Almost makes me wanna not suck your dick. But I've been leadin' up t' this the whole game and you're not takin' it away from me."

Seto thought about running just to spite him, but Joey would probably chase him, and he was a better runner. He didn't want to run through the house naked, anyway.


	14. Christmas

Author's Note: It has been brought to my attention that Christmas is celebrated in Japan, but usually more as a romantic holiday. Like Valentines here in the states, except more intimate? I still don't quite understand, but I'm going with what I got.

Also _I lost all my Christmas Spirit mid-January why is this theme just squished in here oh my God this is terrible where are the Christmassy feelings?!_

* * *

Christmas

Seto looked up from his book, frowning, then turned, looking over the back of the couch. "Hey."

Joey looked up from washing the dinner dishes, raising an eyebrow. "Hey?"

He laid his arm over the back of the couch and turned a little more. "Do you want a fancy dinner on the twenty-fifth, or do you want to stay in?"

The blond blinked at him in surprise. "Oh." He sighed and rolled his eyes toward the ceiling, then looked back down at him, brows furrowed together in embarrassment. "I won't be here. I'm goin' t' New York t' visit my ma and sister, and then we're gonna see my grandparents in Connecticut. I was gonna tell ya sooner, but ya got caught up at work and I only just finalized my plans a couple o' days ago."

Seto raised an eyebrow, unsure of how to respond. This was his first Christmas with someone that he actually wanted to spend it with, so he felt kind of hurt, but on the other hand, Joey rarely got to see his mother and sister. "Oh. That sounds very… kitschy."

"Ya know, 'kitschy' _can_ be considered an insult," the younger man teased, turning back to the dishes. "'sides, we're doin' the family holiday. We're gettin' a tree, and we're puttin' up lights, and we're gonna have the biggest ham on Christmas Eve, and then we're gonna have a goose on Christmas. And presents, o' course," he added, mostly to himself. "Need t' get my grandparents somethin' Japanese. They think it's great that I live abroad, so I gotta get them somethin' that every tourist wants."

"I own some good Japanese chopsticks," the brunet offered. "Expensive, I think. Gozaburo only ever used them in front of guests, and they always looked impressed."

Joey snorted. "I can't take those, idiot. They're yours, and ya know how I feel about takin' your expensive shit."

Seto glared at his back. "I hate them. They are the most hideous things I have ever seen."

The blond let out a startled bark of laughter, finally setting the last plate in the drying rack. "Why would my grandparents want them then?!"

"Tourists like ugly things. I don't understand why." Seto opened his arms as the younger man circled the couch and fell into his lap. "They should be used, not shown off in my house. _Especially_ not my house. They're ugly. I don't think you understand how ugly they are."

Joey smiled a little and leaned against his chest, pressing a kiss under his jaw before nuzzling his neck. "They'll look great next t' my grandparents' cow candlesticks then."

Seto tilted his head to give him more skin to kiss, then paused, frowning. "…Your grandparents have candlesticks with cows on them? _Why?_"

"Americans," the blond replied simply, nipping at his neck. "_Elderly_ Americans."

"I don't understand Americans at all," the older man muttered, grabbing the blond's butt to pull him further onto his lap.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"Convince me t' get outta bed," Joey groaned, wriggling beside him.

Seto huffed. "That would require motivation. I cannot muster it at this point in time. Try again later."

"…It's almost like ya have a snooze button." The blond sat up, turning to look down at him, and poked his chest. "Hey, I was thinkin'."

"I hope you weren't actually thinking while I was fucking you. That's just offensive and my ego is shivering in terror at the thought."

Joey laughed a little. "I can think in the afterglow, asshole; your ego's okay."

Seto waved him on, shrugging. "What were you thinking about?"

"Ya said ya have some vacation time comin' up, and ya just released those games, so ya don't have as much work. You could always come t' New York and Connecticut with me," the blond suggested, a tad shyly. He still had trouble asking for things that he thought might be too much. "Or just New York. We'll only be there a couple days though, before we drive over t' my grandparents' place."

Seto raised an eyebrow in surprise. "You'd _want_ me there? I don't know anything about American Christmas. I don't even know anything about Christian Christmas."

The younger man squinted at him, then sighed, deciding not to even bother trying to explain that they were mostly the same thing. "Of course I want ya there, stupid. My mom's been talkin' about meetin' ya at some point, and for whatever reason, Serenity's fond of ya."

"She likes Mokuba," the brunet replied, brows furrowing together. "He mentioned a cold and she insisted on making him soup. And then she fed it to him. Most people think they need my approval to date Mokuba, but Mokuba's even pickier than I am."

Joey chose not to even _ask_ what that meant and whether he thought that made him easy. Now was not the time to fluster his boyfriend. He wanted something from him, after all. "That doesn't answer my question."

"Oh." Seto tilted his head thoughtfully. There really wasn't much that he couldn't put off until after January, and he'd never really met the blond's family before. He'd _wanted_ to meet them properly; he just hadn't been able to broach the subject with him. "Okay. What do I pack for New York in December?"

"Oh hon'," Joey cooed, cupping his cheeks and kissing him lightly. "I'mma pack your suitcase for ya. You're hopeless."

The brunet huffed. "I am not."

"Ya took your trench coat t' Fiji when Mokuba forced ya t' take a vacation." When the older man opened his mouth to argue, the blond added, "Mokuba sent me pictures and said ya bought most of the clothes ya wore _there._ If I don't pack your suitcase you'll just pack tons of wool socks and some sweaters."

"I'd also put in a couple pairs of pants," Seto added, more than a little offended. It wasn't like he couldn't afford a new wardrobe anyway.

.-.-.-.-.-.

He had to admit that Joey was much better at packing than Mokuba and Roland combined. Mokuba usually still had two large suitcases and a carryon. Joey had packed everything into one large suitcase and had told him to bring another medium sized one to bring back all the souvenirs he'd be buying.

"How do you know I'll be buying souvenirs?" Seto asked, just to be contrary, but the blond had given him such an unimpressed look that he'd coughed and loaded the empty luggage into the trunk of the car.

"Buy me a mini Statue of Liberty!" Mokuba ordered, hugging him fiercely before he could get into the limo. "And—and a King Kong on the Empire State Building! And an 'I heart NY' shirt!"

The brunet hugged him back just as tightly, murmuring, "King Kong?"

"It's like one of those little miniature things—Joey will help you. I gave him a list."

Seto frowned at him, confused. "Why don't you just go to New York yourself?"

Mokuba raised an eyebrow. "You don't really understand this souvenir thing at all, do you?"

"Get in the car and I'll explain it t' ya on the way," Joey huffed, shoving the brunet over to the open door. "We're gonna be late for the plane, Jesus. And you _know_ your brother has difficulties understandin' normal people!" he added in a hiss, glaring at the younger boy.

Mokuba held his hands up in surrender. "I know. I just like riling him up. And don't lie and say you don't think it's cute, because you _definitely_ think it's cute."

Joey threw his hands up in disgust and slid into the car. "Bye, Mokuba. I'll tell Serenity you're a jerk to your brother."

"Don't tell her that!" the younger boy wailed. "Joey, don't tell her that! Seto, don't let him tell her what an awful person I am or she'll stop liking me!"

Seto looked back and forth between them. "I have no idea what is even going on anymore." He huffed and slammed the door shut before Mokuba could screech and Joey could screech back. It was like listening to a pair of Siamese cats yowling at each other.

He paused, then opened the door and gave his brother a stern look. "Don't let Peaches outside and feed her half a cup of food twice a day. My cat better be in good shape when I get home."

"_Ugh,_" Mokuba said, but he knew better than to actually complain. Seto had become a much calmer person since they'd finally adopted the cat.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Serenity and her mother were meeting them at the airport. Seto may have had a little more wine that strictly necessary on the plane. He'd never actually met someone's parents before, and movies always depicted the meetings as super cheery or super not-cheery, and the way Joey talked about is mom made him a little nervous.

Apparently when his dad had tried to stop her from leaving, she'd clocked him with a frying pan. Seto hoped they didn't let people carry frying pans into the pick-up zone.

Serenity saw them first, and she let out a noise that nearly resembled an excited rat and leapt on her brother. She curled around him like an octopus and began chattering away, asking about their flight, how Mokuba was doing, if they wanted to go see a movie or something, never once giving Joey a chance to respond.

Seto hoped she would not turn the same attention onto him.

"You must be Seto Kaiba," the older woman said, and he straightened, then bowed his head respectfully.

She held out her hand, and he took it, pumped it up and down twice, then shoved his hands in his pockets, hoping she wouldn't notice how clammy they were. "Yes, ma'am."

"Call me Gwen, dear," she told him kindly, and moved to take one of their bags.

Seto panicked, grabbed as many as he could hold, and tugged them away from her. "I can carry them!"

Gwen raised her eyebrow. He realized where Joey had gotten the judgmental look from. "…Alright, hon'."

Was that the wrong thing!? Had he made her look weak?! He was just being polite and—

"Oi, idiot, gimme your bag," Joey said, holding his hand out. When the brunet went to give him the empty one, he scowled. "I meant the heavy one, stupid."

"I can carry my own damn luggage and I am offended that you think me so incapable," Seto retorted, drawing himself up to his full height indignantly.

"Oh for the love of God," Serenity hissed, rolling her eyes, and took both of the heavier bags from them and stomped to the waiting taxi.

"You two are so sweet," Gwen said, patting their cheeks in amusement, then turned and got into the passenger seat.

Seto threw his hands up. "What is going on?!"

"Welcome to the Wheeler family, buddy," Serenity cooed, elbowing him sharply before swooping into the back seat.

He didn't _like_ being in the Wheeler family if they were going to be like _this._

.-.-.-.-.-.

"Who is this charming young man?" the elderly lady in front of him asked.

She looked a lot like a tiny raisin, Seto thought with dismay. If he touched her wrong, she would break in half and die.

"This is my boyfriend, Seto Kaiba," Joey said, clapping him on the back. "He's a pretty big deal back in Japan."

"Oh, how nice. Would you like a beer, Seto Kaiba?"

He had no interest in becoming inebriated in front of these people. They would eat him alive. "Uh. No thank you. Just water."

"You'll at least have some eggnog, right?" the elderly man asked. "I make a good eggnog!"

"Oh. Uh. Okay." He watched the old man wobble away, then leaned toward the blond, frowning. "What's eggnog?"

Joey laughed. "It's more nog than egg, this is gonna be great."

Seto watched him walk into the living room and flop down on the couch in alarm. "What is _nog?_"

.-.-.-.-.-.

"Come on, big guy," Joey sighed, lugging the brunet into the guest room they'd be sharing. "Time for bed."

Seto groaned loudly as he fell onto the bed. "Why did you let me drink so much nog?"

"Eggnog, Seto. It's called _eggnog._"

"_I'm dying,_" the brunet moaned. "My head is going to explode."

Joey looked down at him, affronted. "I told ya t' eat something."

"I ate your grandmother's rum cake."

The blond rolled his eyes and sighed, loudly and with feeling. "Well, that explains why you're so wasted. Grandpa likes t' spike the eggnog t' almost lethal levels and Grandma pours a little extra rum on her cakes." He plopped down beside him, curious, as he poked his face. "Hey, whatta ya think of my grandparents, anyway?"

"Your grandmother looks like a raisin and your grandfather looks like a walnut," the older man slurred, wriggling further onto the bed.

Joey choked back a laugh, because that was just too ridiculous. "Oh yeah?"

"Yes," Seto moaned, shoving his head under a pillow. "They explain the gingersnaps that are your mother and sister and the spice cake that is _you._"

The blond didn't even bother to hide his laughter, nearly rolling off of the bed in hysterics as the older man kicked at him, moaning for him to be quiet. "_You think I'm a spice cake._ I wish I'd taped this, oh my God. You're unbelievable!"

"Leave me in peace to die," the brunet mumbled, kicking his slippers off.

"Aw, boo!" Joey snuggled up to his side, pressing a kiss to the bit of his shoulder that was exposed through the large Christmassy sweater his grandmother had pawned off on 'that polite Japanese boy, so sweet.' "C'mere, I'll blow ya real quick before ya pass out."

"…I don't think I can get it up," Seto muttered, embarrassed. "I drank too much. Besides, we're in the house with your _grandparents_ and your _mother._"

Joey snuggled even closer, laughing. "Oh my God, you're so prim and proper. My grandparents are deaf without their hearin' aids and Ma's probably expectin' it."

The brunet sighed and motioned at his crotch. "That doesn't change the fact that I'm too drunk to get it up."

"We'll just hafta do it in the morning." Joey grinned and bit his throat lightly, then tucked his head under the older man's chin. "If ya feel like doin' it in my grandparents' house, anyway."

"_No,_" Seto moaned, pulling the pillow back over his head. "Go to sleep, spice cake."

Joey cooed and patted his shoulder. "Just remember that even though I'm never gonna let ya live the spice cake thing down, I'm actually super pleased and flattered that ya think of me that way. Not so much about the gingersnap thing, though."

The brunet snuffled into his pillow, already beginning to drool a little. "Gingersnaps are scary."

Joey almost started laughing again, but his heart melted a little, too. He pulled the pillow up to kiss his cheek, then sat up to begin helping him change into his pajamas. "Alright, alright. Go to sleep, Seto. We gotta go get the tree tomorrow anyway."

"Tree?" Seto asked blearily, just on the cusp of sleep.

The blond pressed his finger to his lips, hushing him. "Shhh, go t' sleep. I won't even make ya drink the Wheeler family hangover recipe, just pump ya full of water. That should prove how much I love ya."

"Proved you loved me by wanting me _here,_" the older man muttered, just before his breath hitched with a snore as he finally fell asleep.

Joey paused in buttoning up his pajama shirt, then smiled to himself a little. "Yeah, I guess I did. And ya proved ya loved me by comin' and meetin' my gingersnaps."

The only reply he got was another snore. But he was okay with that.


	15. Animal

Author's Note: Seto is a wolfish creature and Joey is a hawkish creature because hawks are common where I live and I am in love with them. And owls. And doves. BIRDS! \o/ Also the hawk I'm thinking of and wolves tend to be monogamous, so they can be monogamous together! Yay! Although why is my first thought for these things to MAKE them animal-like instead of just adding actual animals to the story, is what I wanna know.

On an unrelated note, when I first got my cat, Drew, my mother told me that if I let her out in the open a hawk might swoop down and take her. I WAS SO MAD AND IT WASN'T EVEN TRUE BECAUSE SHE WAS TOO BIG BUT NOW I GET REALLY STRESSED OUT WHEN SHE'S OUTSIDE.

* * *

Animal

Joey's ear twitched as he heard a dragging sound. He snuffled into his nest, taking in the scents of the pelts and feathers that lined it and his own scent on top of them. He rubbed his nose and sighed, trying to drudge up the motivation to go hunt something down, only to let out a startled squawk as something flopped on top of him. "What the hell-!"

Seto nudged the dead stag, as if to make sure it was dead, then leaned back, tail wagging a few times hopefully. "I can provide for you."

"Ugh!" Joey struggled out from under the carcass and shook himself, then scowled. "What the hell, just dumpin' that on me!" He glared at the brunet a moment, then turned, frowning, and poked the stag in the side. It had been a good year for grazing, apparently. It was incredibly meaty. "But thanks. Hey!" He turned back to him quickly, scowling. "I don't need ya t' provide for me!"

The brunet raised an eyebrow. "You will when you're full of pups."

"I lay eggs!" Joey exclaimed, digging his fingers into his hair in frustration. "I don't have pups! I have chicks!"

Instead of turning tail and running, the wolf anima took a step closer, looking intrigued. "Really?"

"…R-really," the blond replied hesitantly, shrinking back in confusion. "Why are ya lookin' at me like that?"

Seto placed his hand on the wall beside the blond's head, leaning into him and taking a deep breath. "Smell good. You'd smell better if you needed to be rutted."

Joey sighed and rolled his eyes, blushing a little. "Lemme guess, it's time for female wolves t' go into heat?"

"No," the brunet answered immediately, then sighed. "_Yes._ But that's not why I brought you food."

"Sure." Joey ducked his arm, ruffling his feathers as he approached the stag again. He was quite pleased with the size of it, though. "Then why _are_ ya bringin' me food?" He sliced through the pelt with his claws and cooed when he realized the brunet had bled the stag already, so it wouldn't stink up his nest.

The coo went directly to Seto's dick. He tried not to whimper. "I heard that you could be influenced into a breeding condition with steady food and good weather, and Yugi mentioned the good weather recently, so I tried using the only thing I could control."

Joey looked up, meat already hanging out of his mouth. He took a moment to rip off a big piece of meat and swallow it before turning all—well, most, the smell of meat was distracting—of his attention back to the brunet. "Ya know what else 'll send me into a breedin' condition?"

Seto blinked, intrigued and a little turned on as juice dribbled down the blond's chin. "…What?"

"Attention," the blond cooed, smiling. "_Impress me._"

Seto sat down where he stood to watch the hawk anima tear into the stag again. "And how—how would hawks usually impress you?"

"We'd circle each other and the other guy would dive real steep, then shoot back up real steep. He'd do it a few times."

Seto thought about throwing himself off the cliff the blond had nested on in frustration, but he decided it would be better to retaliate by annoying him instead. "Alright. How would _I_ impress you, then?"

Joey shrugged, smiling. "I dunno. Guess you'll hafta figure it out."

Seto scowled and reached out to pull out a feather on his shoulder. "Fuck you."

"_Ow!_" Joey turned to screech at him. "What was that for, asshole?!"

"You _know_ what that was for," the brunet snapped, glaring at him.

Joey scowled, mouth open to retort, but had to sigh in defeat. "Yeah, I guess I deserved that."

Seto turned and tucked the feather into the edge of the blond's nest. He thought about taking it with him, but he knew he'd lose it. He simply didn't have anywhere to keep it that some thieving anima wouldn't take it. "This nest would be perfect for eggs whenever you're ready."

The blond blushed a little and ducked his head. "Well, thanks."

Standing to leave, the wolf anima took a moment to dust himself off before moving toward the edge of the ledge, pausing before he took his first step out to turn back to the other boy. "Eggs with me, hopefully. I'd even help you keep them warm."

Joey let out a sound that sounded both pleased and annoyed. "Go away."

"How many eggs can you lay at a time?"

"_GO AWAY!_" the blond screeched, claws flashing toward the dead stag's antlers.

Seto yelped and began scurrying down the cliff, before the hawk anima could rip an antler off of the stag's head and throw it at him. Those things were sharp, and if he got hit with one on the way down, he could be knocked off the cliff and into the vegetation below. That wouldn't have been so bad, but Joey had gotten his friend Tristan to cultivate the area with thorn bushes, to keep his nest extra safe, and Seto would rather not have to spend time digging thorns out of unmentionable places.

…Like he'd had to do after his first attempts to reach the blond's nest.


	16. Wild

Author's Note: Did someone say WILD WILD WEST?! No? Okay. *tosses six-shooters and saddle sores around*

* * *

Wild

Seto remembered from an early age mucking stalls and feeding horses. He remembered the first time he'd been bucked off a horse. He remembered the first time he'd held a gun in his hand, old and falling apart, and had still managed to hit the middle of the target he'd been aiming at. He remembered running out of the house in his pajamas at the sound of the fire bell and immediately joining the line of buckets to put out a fire in his neighbor's barn.

And he especially remembered the day Joey Wheeler fell off of his horse and started bleeding out from a gunshot wound right in front of him.

You couldn't tell by watching Joey that he'd been shot, though. Foreman was a good job for him; not only was he good at directing, but he worked _with_ the other hands instead of just sitting on his horse and telling them what to do. Seto had worked his way up from the bottom to own his own ranch, so he liked that Joey was willing to work hard, too.

It helped that Joey would take his shirt off when he was splitting wood. Seto especially liked that.

"You never told me what you got shot for," Seto commented, pulling a log from the back of the wagon.

Joey shrugged, bringing his ax down to split another piece of wood. "Gamblin'." He turned to stack the pieces of wood in the rack beside the house, one after the other, as if he hadn't already been working for several hours already and wouldn't be working several more. "They said I was a cheat and ran me outta town."

Seto frowned, dragging the log over to the area the blond had cleared for chopping. "_Were_ you cheating?"

"No. But it's the same thing that happened in every town," Joey replied, striding back over to grab his ax. "Lady Luck always favored me in the game. Thing is, I'm not good enough t' throw a game. I win even when I wanna throw it so people don't think I'm cheatin', and I _can't._ So I earn a little money, then get the hell outta town. I guess I just didn't get outta town fast enough that time."

"You should play against Yugi," Seto suggested. "He never loses, either."

The blond shrugged. "He asked, but I turned 'im down. I like what I'm doin' now. I played cards t' earn money. Now I got a job where I don't hafta." He shot the older man a smile before he began chopping the log into more manageable pieces. "It's a good job. Boss is a good guy, too."

Seto blushed a little. He didn't know that was how he felt about it. "You like working for me?"

Joey glanced up at him. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I've heard what the other hands say about me," Seto answered, a little bit awkwardly. "I'm a hard ass, a perfectionist, I'm unforgiving. I'm hell to work for. You're the fifth foreman I've hired."

The blond raised an eyebrow. "And ya fired the other four?"

"Don't be silly; Roland retired," Seto huffed. "I only fired the other three when they didn't live up to my standards."

Joey smiled a little and shook his head. "Glad I'm livin' up t' your standards, I guess."

"It helped that first day you were well enough to work, you took off your shirt."

The blond paused, then laughed a little. "I was wonderin' why ya walked int' a horse that day. You're lucky it didn't kick ya, idiot."

Seto sighed, fighting not to cringe when he remembered it. Mokuba had laughed and laughed and laughed. He'd only stopped laughing when he choked on a biscuit. Roland had scolded him, but he hadn't been able to hide his amused smile quickly enough.

"Kisara would never kick me. She's very gentle."

"Oh, so she'll just kick everyone else," the blond teased, smiling when he remembered the horse had bitten him when he'd apparently come too close for its liking.

Seto shrugged, unable to deny it. "She's protective."

Joey grinned. "Well, I'll remember that when we go t' the dance tomorrow."

The brunet blinked at him in confusion. "What dance?"

"The square dance in town." The younger man beamed at him. "I hear there'll be free booze, too!"

"Why am I going to the square dance? I never go to the dances in town."

"Because I'm _takin'_ ya t' the dance," Joey explained slowly. "Like a _date._ And we'll dance and drink and then we'll come back t' the ranch, and I'll kiss ya goodnight. Have ya never been on a date, Kaiba?" When the brunet only blinked at him, he sighed. "You've never been on a date. Have Mokuba help ya get dressed tomorrow."

Seto drew himself up indignantly. "I am perfectly capable of dressing myself."

"You're gonna show me up," the blond replied. "So probably let your brother help ya not t' do that."

The older man paused, then sighed. "Alright. But I expect more than one kiss tomorrow, then."

Joey turned to grin at him. "People are gonna think you're a trollop, Kaiba."

Seto turned to unload another log. "On top of a hard ass and an arrogant prick? Be still my heart, how will I ever survive?" he deadpanned, dropping the log to the ground. "It's like I'm not used to people talking about me behind my back."

"I'll make sure t' kiss ya in front of all those prude ladies, then," the blond retorted, smirking. "Maybe one of 'em will faint."

The older man hummed thoughtfully. "I hope it'll be Mrs. Murphy that faints. I never did like her anyway."

Joey laughed so hard he dropped his ax.


	17. Morning

Author's Note: What do thugs and Joey have in common? Everything, because Joey was a thug. *laughs, cries* I'm going with that background for him for this story.

*throws fluff around* It's hypo-allergenic fluff, so it should be fine.

* * *

Morning

Not for the first time, Joey woke up before Seto. It was funny, actually. People usually thought that he was a deep sleeper, a talker, but that was only because they'd only ever see him faking sleep; Tristan and Yugi were the only ones that really saw him sleep peacefully, because they were the only ones he trusted to sleep by. Téa might have seen it once, he supposed, when he'd accidentally fallen asleep on her lap while they'd been watching a rom-com at movie night, but she'd never said anything. She'd smiled at him enigmatically though, as if she'd realized something while he'd been sleeping.

He'd say Seto knew what he slept like now, too, but the brunet always seemed to fall asleep before him, always slept harder, and slept longer whenever he could. He'd gotten better lately. Mokuba was old enough and experienced enough to help with the business finally, and had taken a few of his brother's burdens off his shoulders. Seto had promptly filled his free time with more sleep.

Joey didn't mind. Until then, Seto had gotten maybe four to five hours of sleep, when he probably needed at least eight. Time to spend with Joey was crammed in wherever it could be now, and he kind of liked that he could live his own life, that he didn't have to spend every minute with Seto. Seto was overbearing at the best of times, intense and almost always stressed out. He was almost certain that if they spent more time together, they'd drive each other to murder.

Joey frowned as he examined the scar tissue on the brunet's back. They were old scars, at least a decade healed. Several thin lines across his back at an angle, equal distances away from each other; there were at least a dozen of them. He reached out with his right hand, pressed his thumb to the top line and placed each following finger on the lines right after the other. He wondered for a moment if the riding crop he'd snapped in half and thrown out after Seto had shuddered upon finding it had something to do with them.

"They're not from my step-father," Seto said quietly, voice rough with sleep. He didn't turn over, though, and made a noise of loss when the blond jerked his hand away. "It's okay."

Joey hesitated before reaching out and tracing his fingers over the scars again, trailing over the tough lines and the tender skin in between them. "What are they from?"

Seto shrugged one shoulder, stretching the skin over his back. "The car crash." He paused, then added, "The one that killed my parents."

"Oh." The blond pinched the skin between two lines lightly, digging his thumb into the muscle beside his spine. "How didja get cut up like this?"

"Faulty seatbelt," the older man muttered. "I was tossed free of the car, slammed into the guardrail with my back. Broke it. They said I was lucky I hadn't been paralyzed."

"_Shit._" Joey frowned, tracing one of the wider scars. "'s 'at why ya can't stand up as long now?"

"My afternoon appointment every Friday is for a chiropractor. It's why I like it when I can lie back and let you ride me. I don't have to work my back as much."

"Should get ya a pillow for your back. One o' those memory foam ones, maybe?" the blond suggested, sitting up and leaning over him to get a look at his face. "Or the feathery ones."

Seto turned his head to smile up at him. "I have a pillow I'm supposed to use. I just didn't want you to know how bad my back problem is."

Joey scowled and smacked his shoulder. "Idiot! You're gonna fuck up your back even more!"

The brunet turned onto his back, carefully pulling one of their pillows so it would give his lower back some support. "What can I say? The sex always made up for the scolding my chiropractor gave me." He grinned when the blond scowled at him, torn between pride and anger. "Especially after you learned that trick where you—"

Joey grabbed his shoulders and leaned down to give him the angriest kiss he'd received in… months, actually. Joey hadn't been this annoyed with him since he'd gotten him that expensive birthday present. He didn't mind if the kiss had too much teeth or nibbles that were more like bites (kind of preferred them, actually, and he especially liked when Joey would unconsciously drag his nails down his back).

A moment later, Joey leaned back, frowning at him. "I hate when ya do this, ya know? I love ya. I want ya t' stick around for a while. That means ya hafta take care of yourself."

"…My pillow has a picture of you on it," Seto said after a moment.

Joey stared, slack jawed, but then slowly began to smile. His smile then spread into the biggest shit-eating grin the older man had ever had the misfortune of seeing. "Oh my God."

Seto covered his head with the blond's pillow and groaned. "Ugh."

The blond yanked the pillow off his face and beamed. "Is it one of those sexy pillows with like a picture of me strippin'—_Oh my God of course it is._"

"Kill me."

Joey bounced up and down on the bed excitedly. "Do ya save it for when I hafta go help my ma and sister—ooh, when I'm on those overnight trips—" He squealed. "Lemme see your pillow!"

Seto sighed and sat up straight. "Do I have to?" When the blond grinned at him again, he rolled his eyes and turned, reaching under the bed for the body pillow and sitting back up with it in hand.

Joey cooed when he saw the picture of himself sleeping printed onto the pillow. "That is _so creepy._"

"It's weird when you're not here," the brunet muttered, disgruntled. "I sleep easier with this when you're gone."

"That's sweet—but it doesn't stop it from bein' creepy," the younger man said, cupping his cheeks and leaning in to kiss him lightly. "But I'm kinda used t' creepy at this point."

Seto rolled his eyes again. "Yeah, yeah."

"So where's mine?" Joey asked, poking his own face and marveling at the firmness of the pillow.

The brunet blinked at him. "I had not realized you were creepy like I am."

"Ya shouldn't hafta be creepy alone," the younger man told him, face grave, but his expression cracked and he began giggling. "I can take it with me when I hafta leave overnight. My ma and sister will think it's adorable."

"I mean. I can have one made for you?" Seto narrowed his eyes. This felt an awful lot like a trap.

"'kay. Also make my pillow outta whatever yours is made from. I wanna steal this, even if starin' at my own face freaks me out," Joey said, hugging the pillow and sighing at the thought of laying his head on it.

"…Okay," the brunet agreed slowly, still expecting it to come back and bite him on the butt.

Joey shot him a sly look. "Ya don't jack off on this, do ya?"

"I KNEW IT!" Seto bellowed, tackling him to the bed and beginning to tickle him.

The blond squealed and laughed, flailing a little, and quickly wrapped his arms around the older man's neck. "Man, you're beautiful," he muttered, still smiling.

Seto leaned down to kiss him gently. "You say that like you're surprised."

Joey trailed a hand down his back, over the scars, and looked up at him fondly. "It's like I find out a different way that you're beautiful every day."

Seto groaned and hid his face in the blond's neck. "Don't say things like that. I'll start getting self-conscious."

"Yeah, right," the younger man snorted, and pulled him down for another kiss.

The brunet broke it again quickly. "Can I at least straighten my back? Staying turned like this is going to fuck it up."

"Oh, of course." Joey wriggled around and helped pull the brunet further on top of him so there wasn't so much strain on his back. "Tell me next time we have sex if I'm fuckin' up your back, okay? I don't like it when I hurt ya. Pisses me off that ya let me hurt ya so long."

"…It was rather self-serving," Seto pointed out slowly.

"Ya know I give perfectly good blowjobs if your back hurts too much for sex." The blond glared at him sternly. "I like blowjobs. I'm _very_ good at them."

Seto nodded solemnly. "Joey, I don't think anyone knows that better than I." He destroyed the serious atmosphere by promptly digging his fingers into the blond's sides again.

Joey shrieked with laughter. "You asshole!"

"No regrets," Seto told him, before swooping down for another kiss.


	18. Loneliness

Author's Note: Psh, what makes you think I watched _101 Dalmatians_ recently. What do you know, anyway.

*small voice* I like dogs.

* * *

Loneliness

Kisara started to smell it just after Seto's twenty-fifth birthday. His presents—the genuine ones, from the people who cared about him—were put away, the cake cut up and stuck in the freezer, his brother snoring on the couch after successfully surprising him, and the guests finally out of the house for him to relax. Seto had sat down in his favorite armchair, closed his eyes, and _sighed._

That sigh had been the herald of sadness to come.

Seto would come home, announce his presence, and then sag onto the couch when Kisara had been the only one to rush out to meet him. He'd change the channel when romances came on the television. He watched the couples they saw when they went on walks and just sort of… soured in scent. He'd look at babies in the buggies and smile, but they were some of the saddest smiles Kisara had had the misfortune of seeing.

She realized eventually that her friend's life was currently unfulfilled. She would have figured it out sooner if the idiot wasn't so good at faking how he felt. And of course the idiot wouldn't do anything to help himself, because he was dumb and actually sort of terrified of letting people in. She figured it would be up to her to help him, since Mokuba, woefully human, couldn't sense his brother's inner turmoil.

And that was how she found herself lying beside Seto at the park while he read. He'd tried to get her to go to the dog park, but she refused to leave his side. Besides, all of the dogs in the park were assholes and called her _tutu-butt._

Kisara huffed. Idiots didn't know a purebred poodle when they saw one.

She immediately discarded all of the dogs in the dog park, because _please,_ if their human friends didn't care enough to play with them, they wouldn't care enough about her friend, either. Instead, she turned her gaze on the couples that were playing by themselves. She saw a girl playing with a Chihuahua and considered them, but sighed. The girl was probably too young and the Chihuahua seemed a little too headstrong for her taste.

There was a cocker spaniel teaching the woman to give it treats when it sat, but cocker spaniels were kind of snide if you didn't appeal to them immediately.

There was a man circling the park with Great Dane. Kisara perked a little, because most Great Danes she'd met were very laid back and kind, but deflated when she saw how old it was. The Great Dane probably only had a couple more years to live. The Dane noticed her attention and smiled at her, but it was the smile of a dog that knew they would probably never be friends. It brightened when a woman fell into step beside the man, another Dane flopping along beside her with paws still too big for its little body.

Kisara turned her attention to a golden retriever. Its friend seemed nice, and they were only walking, which she preferred—And then another woman swooped in, giving her mate a kiss before handing her ice-cream.

Were all the dogs and their human friends in this goddamn park too young or already mated?!

Suddenly a black blur shot past her, enough to startle Seto into looking up from his book. Then a tan blur came blasting by, laughing, and Kisara accidentally lifted her lip in preparation to growl.

Seto scratched behind her ears, frowning. "Calm down, Kisara. You're going to scare people."

Kisara let her lips fall back quickly, embarrassed. She was better than this. She didn't even growl when Mokuba called her _Kissy._

She turned her gaze on where the black blur had gone, sniffing in distaste when she saw a black Labrador bouncing around, tongue lolling out. His human friend threw a tennis ball like he was aiming for a home run, and the lab took off after it like it was prey.

It knocked over the cocker spaniel. Kisara may have snorted a little at that.

The man flushed and rubbed the back of his head, waving at the woman with his free hand in embarrassment. "Sorry!" He pulled out a handful of treats from his pocket and handed them to her. "No hard feelings?"

"Well, he never says no to treats," the woman laughed, leashing the irritated spaniel. "Good arm though, man."

"Thanks!" the blond replied brightly. "It wears 'em out faster!"

The woman raised an eyebrow, smiling. "Them?"

"Big brother!" A red haired girl ran up behind the blond, leaning her hands on her knees as she glared up at him. "You know I can't run as fast as you!"

The blond blinked at her. "Ya told me not t' go easy on ya when we raced. By the way, I win."

"Ugh!" the girl said, breathless. She looked down at the spaniel and cooed. "Aw, look at that beautiful do—BWAH!"

The lab had returned, ball in mouth, and tackled her.

The blond beamed at the woman. "See? Wears 'em out."

The woman laughed and shook her head. "Well, we'll just get out of your way before we become a casualty again. Have fun!"

"Thanks!"

"Kai is _murdering me!_" the girl wailed.

The blond rolled his eyes. "Oh my God, Serenity."

Kisara perked up. Serenity was a familiar name. Mokuba used it all the time. That meant that the blond man was—

"_Wheeler,_" Seto hissed, more in annoyance than actual anger. "Come on, Kisara. We'll go read on the other side of the park."

'_No,'_ Kisara thought, even as she stood, watching the lab run after the ball again when Serenity threw it. _'I don't want to help you read anymore.'_

Seto let out a startled yelp as his poodle jerked on the leash and began dragging him across the grass. "Kisara, quit it. Heel! _Christ Kisara I'm not wearing shoes for a run._"

'_It's what you get for wearing loafers to the park, you old man.'_ She barged between the two siblings and shoved her nose at the lab's, bonking them together rather painfully. She dogfully ignored it. _"Hi."_

The black lab paused, blinking at her, before smiling bashfully. _"Hi."_

"Woooow!" Serenity gasped. "A poodle! Can I pet her, Kaiba? Joey, look, she's even got the cut!"

Joey looked unimpressed. "Wait for Kaiba t' answer before ya pet her, please."

Seto shrank back at the intense look the younger Wheeler gave him. He had no doubt that if he said no, Serenity would probably go right for his throat. "Go nuts."

Serenity sank her fingers into Kisara's hair and _cooed._ Kisara preened.

"…Didn't take ya for a poodle kinda guy," Joey said after a moment.

Seto shrugged helplessly. "Poodles are calmer dogs, so I can work and still spend time with her. Also she plays in the pool with Mokuba. They were originally bred as water retrievers. It's why they have that specific cut—to keep their joints warm."

"You're a beautiful dog, yes you are," Serenity cooed.

Joey raised an eyebrow as his dog whined, pawing at his thigh with his ball in his mouth. "Kai is beautiful too, ya know."

Kai looked up at Seto, blinked demurely, and dropped his ball at his feet. The brunet looked at Joey helplessly. "I—"

"Throw the damn ball," Joey said, rolling his eyes.

Seto picked up the ball awkwardly. "I don't usually—"

"Throw it like it's a paparazzo's camera," Serenity ordered.

The ball flew further than even Joey's throw had gone. Joey and Seto flinched as the ball bounced off of a kid's head.

Seto tugged on Kisara's leash even as he pulled his loafers off and held them in his other hand. "Run, run, run!"

Joey tucked Serenity under one arm as he latched Kai's leash to his collar. "Oh my God Kaiba!"

"I'll buy you a new ball!"

"I'm more worried about _you pegged a kid in the head with a ball and ran away._"

"Don't judge me!"

"Kaiba, ya took your shoes off t' run better!"

"DON'T JUDGE ME!"

.-.-.-.-.-.

Serenity rolled on top of Kisara and cooed. "I want to keep you."

"_I belong to Seto, but I will allow you belly rubs,"_ Kisara told her magnanimously, even though she knew the human wouldn't understand her.

"We may hafta get my sister and your dog together for play dates," Joey said, sipping his coffee.

Seto scowled, because of course Wheelers would make his life difficult just to spend time with his dog. "Whatever."

"It's okay. I'll bring Kai and we can pretend it's a dog date." He patted the brunet's hand. "Don't worry. I'll keep ya company."

"Can I just keep her?" Serenity asked, looking up at them.

Joey scowled. "_No._ Jeez, Serenity. It's just a poodle."

Seto paused, then quietly said, "…Mokuba might buy you a poodle if you date him."

Serenity brightened, but the blond quickly cut in, appalled. "_Oh my God,_ Serenity, date him because ya _like_ him, not because he can get ya a dog!"

"But poodles!" she whined, before Kai flopped over onto her. "Agh! You're going to kill me, Kai!"

Kai whined. _"You used to think I was so cute. I'm adorable, look!"_

"You're makin' Kai jealous, Serenity," Joey pointed out needlessly.

Serenity hummed, hooking one arm around the Labrador and the other around the poodle. "I love you both equally."

"You'll be seein' more of us then," the blond sighed. "Sorry about this."

Seto watched the younger girl roll around on the floor with the dogs for a moment, then slowly shook his head. "It's fine."

Kisara grinned proudly. She could already smell the sour scent that followed the brunet around beginning to fade.


	19. Friend

Author's Note: I couldn't figure out whose point of view to use, and wouldn't you know it, I CHOOSE THE WRONG ONE. _Well._ \o/

* * *

Friend

When Joey woke up, he was alone. Then the room flooded with nurses and doctors asking too many questions that he didn't know the answers to. They mentioned words like 'head trauma' and 'concussion' and 'amnesia.' They left as soon as they'd come, and he fell asleep again.

The second time he woke up, there was a boy with brown hair sitting in the chair beside him, gelled up into a point. Joey frowned at him. "Didja need cement t' get your hair t' do that?"

The boy barked out a surprised laugh. "Joey, you _know_ what kind of gel I use. You bought me some for—Oh," he said, and his face fell. "Oh, damn." He rubbed his mouth, frowning, then quietly asked, "Do you know my name, Joey?"

"…It's probably somethin' tough like Slim or Tiny."

"Tristan. I'm… Tristan," the brunet muttered, running a hand through his hair and messing it up. He added, voice cracked, "I'm your oldest friend."

"Oh." Joey tilted his head. "…Tristan, why am I in a hospital?"

Tristan rubbed his chin again. "…Car crash," he answered after a moment. "How's your head?"

The blond narrowed his eyes skeptically, because the other boy had hesitated just a second too long. "…Fine."

"Good. Listen, I'm gonna go get a snack. You want anything?"

Joey perked up. "_Everything._"

"…I'll grab you a KitKat," Tristan said, standing up.

"I feel like I haven't eaten in _years._ Feed me!"

Tristan rolled his eyes, smiling a little. "Sure. _After_ the doctors tell me it's okay to feed you."

Joey groaned loudly, and thrashed around on the bed some for good measure. He still only got a KitKat bar.

.-.-.-.-.-.

One by one, people came into his room to talk to him. They all said they were his friends, and they didn't look like they were lying, so he chattered away at them, asking questions about himself. He learned fairly quickly that they wouldn't answer the personal ones, like 'hey where did this big-ass scar on my side come from' and 'why do I feel this weird need to punch someone in the face.' He kept to questions like 'am I lactose intolerant because I could go for some ice-cream right now' and 'will you take this stick and scratch under my cast please I can't reach my foot.'

Téa—she was nice and pretty, he liked her—was a little more forthcoming than anyone else. She didn't seem to take anyone's shit, especially the doctors' telling her not to overwhelm him, and would drop hints about him that no one else would tell him.

Yugi always looked like he wanted to cry. He'd start talking about Duel Monsters, which Joey vaguely remembered, but had never gotten into. Except apparently he had. And he'd actually won a fair bit of money for a surgery for his sister. He hadn't even known his sister was sick. Last he remembered, she and his mom had been driving away.

Serenity and his mom did come by, but they were older. Joey immediately ingratiated himself by saying 'it seems impossible that you two could have gotten any more beautiful.' He preened when his mother clapped for him, impressed, because apparently he still had it—he could keep them on their toes, even when he didn't know a lot about himself and also that scar on his side was kind of deep, it seemed like he'd been in trouble before.

His mom and Serenity wouldn't tell him a word about it, though.

.-.-.-.-.-.

He woke up a few nights later to find a man in his room, which seemed weird, because everyone that'd been there when he woke up, bar his mother and sister, had been his age. This guy appeared a couple years older, which seemed even weirder because apparently he was twenty now? Whatever, the doctors said he'd probably regain his memories slowly if he ever did at all blah-blah-blah-brain-stuff, he wasn't really paying attention (_typical,_ his mother and Téa had sighed when he admitted it aloud).

"Hi," Joey said, because the brunet clearly wasn't going to speak. "I've never seen ya before. Who're you?"

"…Seto Kaiba," the man answered after a brief pause. "So you don't remember me then."

Seto Kaiba seemed disappointed by that. Joey wondered how he could tell, since Seto Kaiba's face didn't really give anything away. "I don't remember much of anyone."

"It figures. You were shot in the head," the brunet mused.

"Wait, everyone's been tellin' me I was in a car crash." Joey blinked. "I was shot?"

Seto stared at him for a minute, eyes wide, before slowly answering, "…Nnnooo?"

The blond narrowed his eyes in disbelief, but he didn't push, simply because the older man was glancing at the window like he'd prefer to jump out of it. He wasn't going to push a man to jump out a third story window. "Okay. Kaiba, are we friends?"

Seto let his eyes trace over the blond's collarbone, over his shoulder, over his neck and jaw. There were bruises there, in a long, splotchy pattern, beginning to fade. He'd made them with his mouth just before Joey had insisted on leaving, to get to a movie night at Yugi's house. He wished he'd been able to convince Joey to stay, or at least leave a few minutes later, so that gang member hadn't stumbled on him while he'd been walking.

"…Sure," Seto said, because it was the truth, kind of. He didn't want to overwhelm him, after all, especially if he hadn't known he'd been shot.

"All my other friends have been holdin' my hand," Joey lied, holding his hand out to him. He grinned when the brunet took it, realizing that maybe they were more than friends, even if the older boy wasn't going to admit it. He wondered if they'd had sex. "Have we ever had sex?" he blurted out before he could stop himself.

Seto glanced away nervously. "…Nooo? Did you think you had sex with all of your friends or something?"

His eye twitched when he lied. That was cute.

Joey smiled up at him and shrugged. "Well, I have very attractive friends."

"None as attractive as me," Seto replied swiftly.

Joey felt a niggling in the back of his mind; that sounded familiar. He blinked up at the brunet slowly, then smiled a little and shook his head. It would come back to him eventually.


	20. Pet

Author's Note: Wheelers have no boundaries! They just can't be bothered with them!

* * *

Pet

"We're here!" Serenity called, bouncing on one foot so she could pull off her boots. Kisara came bounding out to meet her. "Kaiba, if you don't come out, I'm going to steal your dog!"

"Don't steal my dog," Seto said, stepping into the hall. He saw Joey struggling to wipe the mud from Kai's paws and began scratching behind the lab's ears so he was distracted, allowing the blond to towel off his paws. "Just because I don't get up and run to the door like Kisara does—"

"Why _don't_ you greet us at the door when we come over?" the younger girl asked, looking up from admiring Kisara's new haircut and pretty pink bow.

"Because I don't _like_ you as much as Kisara does," Seto replied, rolling his eyes. "I was hoping I wouldn't have to deal with you at all. It's why I gave you a key and a code to the gate."

Kisara wanted to tell them what a lie that was, because Seto had kept glancing up at the clock and didn't get any reading done in the past twenty minutes. His sour, lonely smell had faded, and it stayed away longer after they visited.

Kai trudged into the living room after them, lay down in front of the fire, and closed his eyes; Joey and Serenity had taken him on a long run before they came over, and he was glad, because he usually felt left out. Now he could just sleep through it.

Seto hesitated when he saw that the Wheeler siblings were soaked through, then sighed and rolled his eyes. "Stay here. –Don't touch anything."

Serenity and Joey gave him unimpressed looks and reached out to touch the table and wall, respectively.

"Idiots," the brunet hissed, glaring at them, even as he stalked away. "I used to wonder how you two could ever be related, and the answer is that you're both idiots."

"We're also both very attractive!" Serenity called after him, then giggled a little. "He's such a curmudgeon. Does teasing him ever stop being funny?"

"Serenity, I have been teasin' that guy since we were sixteen," Joey replied, grinning. "It _never_ stops bein' funny."

She burst into full laughter and shook her head. "Joey, you're so mean! I bet you would have been _horrible_ to live with when I was growing up! You'd make fun of my acne, and my cramps, and how I could never find clothes that fit—"

"I'm horrible to live with now. I make fun of your friends, your job, your eatin' habits—"

"Yeah, but I'm confident now. Can you imagine the irreparable damage you would have done to my psyche, teasing me about my—"

"Pizza face? Yeah, Ma sent pictures," Joey drawled.

Serenity let out an embarrassed shriek. "She _did?!_ Joey, no she didn't! Come on! You're joking, right? Of course you are! You're a big joker!"

"He's a big jerk, is what he is," Seto cut in, stomping back into the living room. He tossed towels at both of them and smirked a little when Serenity flailed and accidentally smacked herself in the face. "Careful, by the way."

Joey grinned as he began toweling his hair dry. "See, he gives as good as he gets, Serenity. It's great."

Kisara stood and stuck her nose into the brunet's hand. _"You're doing great, Seto. And you smell better now. I'm glad I could help."_

"Kaiba, do you have a jacket or something I could borrow?" Serenity asked sweetly.

Seto thought about telling her no, just to see her nose wrinkle in annoyance, but then he realized he could bring one out for Joey and he really wanted to see Joey in one of his shirts. He decided not to think about why he wanted that.

"Ugh," he said instead, turning to stomp back upstairs.

Serenity watched him go, raising an eyebrow, then smiled a little, turning to look up at her brother. "I think it's cute that he acts so tough even when he's doing what I ask."

Joey grinned. "Mokuba called his brother a 'maladjusted marshmallow' once." When his sister burst into giggles again, he continued, "Kaiba got super pissed and yelled that he wasn't a marshmallow. He didn't even try arguin' the maladjusted part."

Seto returned a moment later, holding two stacks of clothes. "Just change into these and I'll have the maids dry your clothes." He eyed them both sourly. "Have either of you ever heard of umbrellas? They are things that exist to keep you dry."

"What's the point when Kai won't stay under it?" the blond replied, taking the bundle of clothes.

The older boy gave them both looks of utter disdain. "You are both going to get sick and die."

"Don't be silly, Kaiba," Serenity told him blithely. "Wheelers have super-human health!"

Seto did not tell her where she could shove it. He hoped both of them appreciated the things he did (and didn't) do for them. He frowned at them when neither of them made a move to leave the room. "What are you doing?" He took a step back when he saw Serenity beginning to peel her shirt off. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU KNOW WHERE THE BATHROOM IS." He whipped around to face Joey because clearly his opinion on this should be the same— "WHAT ARE _YOU_ DOING!?"

Joey blinked at him, already toweling his chest dry. "C'mon, Kaiba. I live with my sister. She walks around in her underwear all the time. And you're not attracted t' her so it shouldn't matter all that much, right?"

"_I DON'T LIVE WITH YOU WHY ARE YOU BOTH SO COMFORTABLE WITH ME GO CHANGE SOMEWHERE ELSE._"

"Oh my God," Joey said, brows furrowing together even as his mouth twitched with the want to smile.

"Seto, I was trying to work on—" Mokuba started, stomping into the living room, only to let out a startled screech. "WHY ARE YOU UNDRESSING IN THE LIVING ROOM?!"

So it was a Kaiba thing. That made them feel a little bit better.

Mokuba whipped his head back and forth between them before sighing and giving the blond a glare. "Why are you taunting my brother like this?"

"Excuse me, what, come again," Joey said, even as the younger boy grabbed his brother's arm and eased him out of the room. "What are ya talkin' about?"

Serenity rolled her eyes. "Come _on,_ Joey. You _know_ Kaiba thinks you're attractive."

Joey whipped toward her in surprise. "He does? Really?"

Her expression turned sour. "You're no longer my brother."

"Why?!"

"Even _I_ can tell he likes you, idiot!" she exclaimed, rolling her eyes again. "I'm pretty sure that if it was just me asking to see his dog, he would have had me arrested! He was talking to _you_ the entire time I was asking about coming to see Kisara!"

Joey frowned. "But, he was answerin' _your_ questions."

"While he was looking at _you!_" Serenity screeched.

"…Oh."

Serenity flailed a little, glaring at him, before she stomped her foot. "Idiot!" She shrugged on the shirt Seto had brought her and wriggled to let her soaking jeans slide to the floor. "I don't even know how I'm related to you. _Yugi knew about it._"

Joey huffed, offended. "Why didn't Yugi tell me?!"

"He thought you weren't interested and figured you were letting him down gently or something; he said something about you not wanting to lose your friendship with him."

The blond grumbled under his breath as he toweled himself off and slid into his borrowed pants. "Would require me bein' friends with him, first."

"Only friends antagonize each other the way you two do," the younger girl retorted.

Joey looked at her both in concern and outrage. "What kind of friendships do you have?!"

Serenity smirked. "Please, Téa has said worse to you than Kaiba ever has, and she'd help you bury a body."

The blond conceded, because Téa was terror, but she was also one of the best friends he'd ever had. …She was actually probably scarier than he was in a rage.

His sister grinned at him smugly, as if she'd won something, before calling out, "Kaiba, we're finished! I'm gonna maul your dog now!"

"Please don't give her rabies." Seto poked his head back into the room, skeptical, but relaxed a little when he saw that they were, indeed, redressed. He picked up their wet clothes to hand off to a maid, then eyed the blond watching him suspiciously. "…What?"

"…Ya always this weird about bein' naked?"

"I don't appreciate it when it's happening in my living room without my permission," the brunet answered stiffly. "It made me uncomfortable."

"Oh." Joey flushed a little. He'd gotten so used to living with Serenity with only a few boundaries and teasing Seto that he'd mixed the two and had actually upset him. "Sorry. I guess that was rude." He shot Serenity a pointed look, but she was too busy playing with Kisara to pay attention to him. He sighed loudly. "Serenity will probably realize it was rude later and bring a cake the next time we stop by."

Seto perked up a little. "I like chocolate frosting."

The blond raised an eyebrow, then sighed again and shook his head. "You're so weird, Kaiba."

"I'd prefer a vanilla cake, but chocolate cake and chocolate frosting has its merits as well."

"Show me your latest game developments," Joey deadpanned, and the older man immediately began typing on his computer and telling him about the characters and how they worked in the storyline of his newest game. He took a moment to eye the brunet, frowning, before realizing that yeah, Seto was a lot more open with him than he was anyone else—and he probably didn't even notice.

…It was kind of cute, he decided. Especially when Kai wandered over and laid down beside them, and Seto dug his toes under the lab's side to keep them warm without even pausing in his speech.


End file.
